My Tiki Girl

McMahon, Jennifer. My Tiki Girl. New York: Penguin Group, 2008.

Two years ago Maggie's life was irrevocably changed.  A car accident shattered Maggie's leg and took the life of her mother.  Maggie spent most of the year in the hospital and then recovering at home.  Once a straight-A student and heavily involved in drama, Maggie's not sure who she is anymore.  Her friends and classmates don't know who she is, either, and Maggie is feeling very alone. 

Enter Dahlia.  Dahlia lives with her mentally ill mother in the not-so-nice part of town.  Maggie soon finds herself spending most of her time at Dahlia's house.  But soon Maggie's relationship with Dahlia turns romantic, and Dahlia's mother, whom Maggie thought to be a cool person, kicks Maggie out of the house while screaming "abomination!" at her over and over again.  Soon the too-big secret is out and Maggie and Dahlia are facing teasing at school and stony silences at home.  Maggie must sort through her feelings and discover what is truly important to her.

Again, it intrigued me that the only characters who were against homosexuality in this story were Maggie's mostly-absent father (still grieving the loss of his wife), Dahlia's mentally ill mother (taken away to a state home as soon as she's discovered to be off her medication), and Maggie's less-than-mature classmates.  None of the good characters take any issue with Maggie and Dahlia's relationship. This was an interesting book, in that it addressed abusive homes, death of parents, terrible accidents, teasing and bullying, and relationships all in one fell swoop.

The House You Pass on the Way

Woodson, Jacqueline. The House You Pass on the Way.  New York: Delacourte Press, 1997.

Staggerlee doesn't have much going for her.  She has a completely unusual name, first of all.  Second, she is a child of mixed race in a time and place where this is not acceptable.  Third, she has a crush on her best friend, who also happens to be female.  When her friend moves away, Staggerlee isn't sure what to do with herself, until her cousin Trout moves in.  Staggerlee and Trout become fast friends and soon confess to each other that they both like girls, but both have realized that they cannot talk about this issue with their families, ever.  Trout was sent to Staggerlee's house to solve her "little problem," but it isn't until she returns home that Trout develops a crush on a male classmate.  Staggerlee is still trying to find her way in a world that is very unfriendly to her.

This book was kind of slow and rather difficult to follow.  There isn't much action and not much conflict, and Staggerlee's problem isn't resolved in the end.  I found this book to be rather unsatisfying.

Empress of the World

Ryan, Sara. Empress of the World. New York: Penguin Group, 2001.

Nic is spending the summer at a camp for gifted students, and while she explores her passion of archeology, she also has the opportunity to meet some new friends.  One friendship soon turns into a romantic relationship, which leaves Nic examining herself and wondering at her changing identity.

I haven't read much YA lit with a homosexual theme, so I was intrigued to see how authors in general would choose to portray this issue.  I find it interesting that Nic's friends were all okay with her relationship with Battle, while the two characters who objected were already portrayed in a negative light.  The two boys who picked on Nic and Battle were already seen as ignorant and arrogant before they displayed their obvious homophobia.  Other than this, I definitely could see Nic's mental/emotional skirmishes as she tried to wrap her brain around her relationship with Battle.

Hearts and Minds

Main, Darren. Hearts and Minds: Talking to Christians about Homosexuality.  Scotland: Findhorn Press, 2008.

If you are a Christian and want to see how others understand your viewpoint, or if you are gay and want to know how to talk about homosexuality with the Christians in your life, this book would be an excellent resource.  A lot of the information in this book was not new to me, as the author truly chooses to "put the cookies on the bottom shelf," as it were.  He explains the evangelical Christian's stand on homosexuality and offers suggestions for open, calm, honest discussions between those who disagree on this particular issue.  James Waygood calls this book "a brilliantly executed and sound approach to what can be a dangerously impassioned topic" (his review can be accessed here).

An Interview with the Author



So, Jenni, what was it like living in San Francisco for a year?
I absolutely loved it.  San Francisco is a great city.  There are tons of things to do, the library is huge, there are beautiful parks and beaches and lots of coffee shops and the bus can take you anywhere you want to go. The people are friendly and relaxed and it's never, ever boring.

What would you say was the highlight of your San Francisco experience?
Wow, I have to pick just one thing? I think the most exciting part of being in San Francisco was the people.  I got to work with some very nice people at all three of my jobs.  I also met some great people at church and was able to worship and serve together with them.  At my bus stop I never failed to run into a few interesting street people.  If I had had my own apartment and could balance my "with interesting people" and "alone, away from interesting people" time, I might have been convinced to stay.

Why are you leaving San Francisco now, anyway?
Well, first, it's very expensive to live here.  I don't have my own place, and if I were to stay, I'd need my own place.  Second, and kind of tied to the first reason, I don't have a decent job.  I mean, I have a good job, but not one that affords me the independence of my own apartment.  In order to get a better job, I need a college degree, so I'm going back to school.

Would you ever consider returning to San Francisco?
Absolutely! After I have a decent job and if my loans are paid off so I can afford living here, I'd love to be back in the city.  As I said, it's a great place to live: beautiful and interesting and friendly.

Is there anything you wish you'd done while you were here, something you won't have time for before you leave?
Well, I didn't explore nearly as much of the city as I'd have liked to.  There's so much to see and do here, I feel like I barely scratched the surface.  And a short drive away from the city leads to so many other neat things, too. But the one thing I am sorry I never did is I never walked all the way across the Golden Gate Bridge.  I made it to the first tower, but my sprained ankle wouldn't allow me to go any further.

That's unfortunate.  Hopefully the bridge will still be here if you come back to visit.  You've done quite a bit of reading and studying while you were here, even though you weren't in school. What lessons have you learned during your time in San Francisco?
I have learned a lot from being here and being around so many different kinds of people.  The two big things I have learned are that, first, everyone has a story.  Every single person has lived a life that I have not lived, and they have experiences that I don't know about.  I try to keep that in mind when I have a grouchy boss or a customer who is acting entitled and getting on my nerves.  I don't know what kind of day they've had and I don't know what they're going through. Sometimes I wish I could wear a shirt that says, "I'm having a rotten day. Please be patient." I try to remember to extend that same patience to those around me.  Knowing that other people have back stories has also made me a good listener.  Sometimes people just need someone to talk to - they don't want answers or great solutions to their problems, they just need validation that someone else cares about what they're going through.

That sounds like a great thing to learn.  What was the second thing?
That I don't have the corner on the market of the truth.  One of the neat things about being in San Francisco is that I got to play around with different ideas, I got to look at things from other perspectives.  And while there are some things that I still believe and think are fundamentally important, other things just aren't that vital anymore. In fact, in some cases I have changed my mind because I saw what "the other side thinks" and I have come to the conclusion that they are right and I was wrong.  But that doesn't mean necessarily that now I can say I have the corner on the market of the truth - I might still be wrong.  But God's grace is big enough to cover all of our human frailties, and I know that He loves me in spite of my mistakes.

God's grace is truly amazing. For most of your life now you have been involved in an extremely conservative church group.  This was the first year you were out on your own, so to speak.  How has that been?
It's been wonderful.  At first it was really scary and overwhelming.  The first week at my church here in San Francisco I was kind of in shock.  It was quite different from what I was used to.  Joining a small group was great for me; I got to discuss things with other intelligent, educated people who love Jesus and might look at things differently from the way I've been taught.  The biggest thing I learned is that it's so much more important to love those around us than to make sure they know what we stand against.  So many people only know the church as a place that is against abortion, against gay marriage, against teaching evolution in public schools, against rock music, etc. etc. They hear all these negative messages, and then they ignore the most important message which is, "God loves you! He loves you regardless of your opinion on all those issues. Issues are not the main thing. God's love is the main thing."

So was your sister justified in her concerns that you would become a tattooed, pot-smoking hippie?
In a word, no.  No tattoos. No pot. No hippiness. Even if I talk about God's love a lot. I want to round up all those people who have been pushed away from church, apologize to them for their hurts, and bring them back to Jesus. Because He really does love them.

Well, it sounds like you have an exciting future ahead of you.  I wish you all the best as you head off to grad school.
Thank you.  And if you're ever in my neck of the woods again, feel free to stop by for coffee.