Touched

Maurer, Paul. Touched. New Libri Press, 2013.

Jimmy hates school and can't wait until he graduates in three years. But when Renee shows up, he feels like he has finally found a friend. Renee's friendship comes at a cost, though; as she spirals deeper into depression, Jimmy finds himself wondering how to help her and if it's worth it to care about another person at all.

It took me a very long time to finish this book. I could blame it on graduation, my wedding, and our cross-country move, but the fact is I couldn't get into this book at all. Not only is there not really a plot (we figure out Renee's "secret power" early on and nothing more comes of it), but the writing is filled with little gems such as the following:

• "Today I pulled a disappearing act like a cross-dressing Anne Frank and avoided everything" (63).
• "We were all like balloons from the state fair tied to the end of wooden sticks slowly losing air and hanging limp" (107).
• "But I've met girls like her before. Powerful in a pack but alone they fade faster than perfume from the Dollar Store" (118).
• "The drifting that left her feeling as rudderless as a broken rowboat in a scuz-filled pond" (141).
• "I wanted to talk about as much as I wanted old Dr.Brown to grab my junk and tell me to cough" (144). 
• "She was paddling in Sh[*]t Creek with only a pair of chopsticks" (151).
• "I never liked to write before.I thought it was pointless. Now the more I do, the more I want to. It's like you opened a faucet in my head and my sinuses are draining all over the paper." The teacher called this "Imagery at its best" (159).
• "She literally bleeds her heart onto the paper drop by drop" (159).
• "He made my crap seem smaller than a cat turd in a kitty litter box" (162).
• "The sky was filled with corkscrew clouds that mixed white and grey like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen" (200).

The "cross-dressing Anne Frank" comment I found blatantly offensive. The Dairy Queen comment is inaccurate, as the mixed cones come from places such as McDonald's and I'm pretty sure DQ doesn't sell white/grey ice cream. The stuff in the middle, and this is just a representative sample, is just bad writing. Teenagers don't talk like this or think like this at all.

I had difficulty sympathizing with the main characters. I felt like I didn't get to know them or any of the secondary characters. And most of them had few, if any, redeeming qualities. Also, no plot. Books must have a plot. And the climax scene was not very climactic. I barely reacted to it at all, and I've been known to go through a box of tissues in a single chapter (Dobbie's death, anyone?). Sorry folks, but this one is not worth your time. Find another book to read instead.

Recommended for: This book is written for young adults, but I doubt it will appeal to them.

Red Flags: Drinking, sex, language, violence - you name it, it's in this book. Including several homophobic comments about people acting like "lezzies" or "lesbos." Boys are called "pussies" for being afraid to do things.

Overall Rating: 1/5 stars. The author's bio states that he is a chiropractor, so I wanted to cut him some slack for lack of training in writing, but this book was just too much.

I received a complimentary copy of this novel through Goodreads' First Reads program for the purposes of review.

Skinny

Cooner, Donna. Skinny. Point, 2012.

Ever Davies has a voice inside her head, and it tells her that she's worthless, hopeless, an elephant, a freak. Ever weighs over 300 pounds and has tried every diet on the planet, to no avail. Finally, Ever decides to undergo gastric bypass surgery in order to lose weight and make the boy of her dreams notice her.  She works hard to lose her extra weight, loses that awful voice in her head, and realizes that the best person in her life has been there the whole time and has loved her no matter what her weight.

This book had a lot going on.  First, there's Ever's weight issues.  Second, there's Ever's family issues - she's in a blended family and is jealous of her stepsiblings. Third, there's the relationship between Ever and Rat, her childhood friend. Rat has always been there for her, and Ever has been clueless to the fact that he really, really likes her. I really enjoyed watching Ever find her voice and herself and banish that awful voice in her head.  I was glad that she was able to take care of the relationships in her life.  I was sad that she seemed to do everything just to please those around her; Ever lost weight to impress a boy, not to help herself.

My biggest concern with this book is that Ever gets gastric bypass surgery surprisingly quickly and easily.  It sounds like her new doctor has no idea of her dieting history and just takes her family's word (and money) for it and lets her have this dangerous surgery when she's still a teen.  I don't think that's a very realistic portrayal of this situation, nor do I think most families would have the money to get an expensive surgery at the drop of the hat like that.

Recommended for: teens, those who work with teens, as part of a collection of books on eating disorders

Red Flags: language, teen drinking

Overall Rating: 4/5 stars

Etiquette & Espionage

Carriger, Gail. Etiquette & Espionage. Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, 2013.

Sophronia is not a stereotypical girl, and her mother is finally so frustrated with her that she sends her off to finishing school.  Sophronia soon discovers that this school - set high above the earth in a series of balloons - is a very different kind of finishing school.  Sophronia refines her manners as she learns how to finish other people, finish them off, that is.  When Sophronia discovers a mystery afoot, of course she has to get involved and see if she can stop the bad guys from doing bad things before it's too late.

I loved Carriger's Parasol Protectorate series, but I didn't think they were entirely appropriate for teens, so I was quite glad to see a YA book with her name on it.  This book did not disappoint.  The same writing style that drew me to Carriger's adult books is present in this book, only without some of the red flags that are present in her adult novels.  This story is engaging, entertaining, fast-paced, and fun to read.  My only disappointment is that I have to wait for the publication of the next one in the series.

Recommended for: teens, adults, fans of steampunk, fans of the Harry Potter series

Red Flags: some violence

Overall Rating: 5/5 stars

Tell the Wolves I'm Home

Brunt, Carol. Tell the Wolves I'm Home. Random House, 2012.

June's favorite person in the world is her Uncle Finn, and when Finn dies, June feels as though she has been set adrift.  Her grief only intensifies when she discovers that Finn's apartment has been taking over by his partner, and that his partner is also dying. June becomes friends with Toby, Finn's partner, in spite of her family's and friends' reactions to her associations with a gay man.  Through it all, June learns more about her Uncle Finn and herself than she thought possible.

This book was a long, slow read.  It wasn't a bad book, but the 1980's setting made it exceptionally unappealing. As an historical look at the AIDS epidemic, this was a good book, but it didn't hold much appeal for me, as the main character must necessarily be much older than I am, and I'm an adult.  I cannot imagine a teen enjoying this story.

Recommended for: Adults. It's not an inappropriate book for teens, but I don't see it appealing to them. The story is just too dated to be modern, yet not dated enough to be historical.

Red Flags: Lots of alcohol and smoking in this book. Some mild profanity. The flower shop is vandalized, but no violence or sex at all.

Overall Rating: 4/5 stars

Swans & Klons

Olsen, Nora. Swans & Klons. Bold Strokes Books, 2013.

Rubric lives in the Academy, where she is dating Salmon Jo and training for the job she will eventually take.  She lives on a world populated only by women; all the men were killed off in a dreadful disease.  The women are taken care of by Klons, non-human servants who wait on them.  Outside the city, beyond the protective barriers, are the Barbarous Ones.  These women actually have men - cretinous males - living with them! Rubric has been raised to believe that this is barbaric.  But when Salmon Jo makes some interesting discoveries at the hatchery, she and Rubric embark on an adventure to find the truth, no matter the cost.

This novel reminded me a lot of Lois Lowry's The Giver, when Jonas discovers that "release" means death and decides that he must leave his society and his way of life behind. These girls lived in a very tightly controlled society, were raised without parents, and then discovered that the Barbarous Ones aren't really that barbaric after all.  I enjoyed the science fiction aspects of this story, as well as the obvious feminist slant.  And I can't really complain about an entire society peopled by lesbians.  I will be interested to see if this author writes a sequel to this novel.

Recommended for: teens, science fiction fans, fans of Hunger Games, people who enjoy gender-variant literature

Red Flags: None

Overall Rating: 5/5 stars