My Corner of the Universe

Molly's Family

2012-02-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Garden,N., & Wooding, S. (2004). Molly's family. New York: Farrar StrausGiroux.

Molly draws a picture of her family inher kindergarten class and the other children tell her that she made a mistake;she can’t have a mom and a mama. Mollyand her classmates learn together that all families are special.

And Tango Makes Three

2012-02-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

Richardson, Justin and Peter Parnell. And Tango Makes Three. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2003.

Based on a true story, this is the tale of two male penguins who live in a zoo and are given an egg to care for so they can form a family like the other penguins do. The illustrations are adorable and the story is a great way to introduce young children to the idea of different types of families.

King & King

2012-02-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

de Haan, Linda and Stern Nijland. King & King. New York: Tricycle Press, 2000.

The Queen no longer wishes to be queen, so she is requiring her son, the Prince, to choose a mate and become king. The Prince rejects princess after princess until he finds his perfect mate: another prince. The Queen approves, and the princes become King & King and live happily ever after.

10,000 Dresses

2012-02-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

Ewert, Marcus. 10,000 Dresses. New York: Seven Stories Press, 2008.

Every night Bailey dreams of dresses. Every day Bailey tells her family about her dreams and they all say the same thing: "You can't wear dresses. You're a boy." But Bailey knows that she's a girl. Bailey does eventually find someone who appreciates her dreams of dresses and who loves her just as she is.

My Princess Boy

2012-02-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Kilodavis, Cheryl. My Princess Boy. New York: Aladdin, 2009.

This is a story of a little boy who likes to dress up as a princess. His family accepts him as he is and helps him to be accepted within his school and community as well. This is also a great resource for parents who wish to show their children that people who are different are still people and should be accepted, not judged.

Be Who You Are

2012-02-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

Carr, Jennifer. Be Who You Are. Bloomington, IN: Author House, 2010.

Nick was assigned a male gender at birth, but she knows inside that she is really a girl. This children's book describes Nick's frustrations and her family's work to accept her as she is and to help those around her accept her as well. This is a great story to use in explaining or introducing transgenderism to small children.

It's All About Love

2012-01-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

You know why I'm a Christian? Because God loves me so much that God came to Earth and showed us love in Jesus' actions. Because the biggest thing, the most important thing to Jesus was to show others how much God loves them and to remind us that it's very important that we love each other. And I think that's awesome. I think it's neat that God bothers to care about us puny humans at all, much less that God would stoop to love us and to remind us to love each other. I like to think that when I help others around me, when I serve at our church's homeless shelter or stop to help a person who's dropped a package or allow a person with small children to cross in front of my car, that I'm showing a bit of that God-love to the world at large.

But I have almost decided to drop the label "Christian."

It's been nearly two years since my exit from Fundamentalism, although I can honestly say that I struggled with that particular set of beliefs for quite some time before I was brave enough to leave, and in the time since then I have studied and prayed and thought and journaled and tried to figure out what parts of my faith are truly important to me and what parts were just inherited from an outdated, Pharisaical system of beliefs.

I have discovered a lot of amazing things. You could choose two people at random who both call themselves Christians, and chances are pretty good that they won't agree on everything about their religion. Some of them might even get into very heated arguments about things as intense as the existence of hell or as mundane as the music standards of a worship service.

The one thing, though, that even non-Christians generally agree on about Christianity is its focus: love God and love other people, or love God by loving other people.

2011 was a long year. It was a difficult year. I had some amazing moments that I'll never forget and some times when I cried more tears than I thought possible. But the most amazing thing to me in 2011 was the love or lack thereof that I saw. And a lot of that lack-of-love came from the Christian community. Many people whom I called friends were more than willing to deal with my personal journey out of Fundamentalism, even when I chose to do such dastardly things as wear pants to church or attend movies in a theater, but once I started talking about my orientation, any appearance of love just disappeared. Instead of love, I was served a dish of judgment and misunderstanding, of hurt and betrayal, and I was left standing alone holding the shattered remains of my friendships.

Every person involved would tell you that s/he claims to be a Christian, a follower of Jesus, the one who was such a proponent of love. Likely they all would also tell you that what they said to me was said out of love and concern for my well-being. Many would say that their personal relationship with the creator of the universe is of such high importance that my friendship was a sacrifice they were willing to make in order to please their god. The former president of my alma mater would affirm that his statement that all homosexuals should be stoned was made in light of the love he has for his god and that it was a very Christian thing to say and to believe.

Like I said, I'm almost ready to ditch the label of "Christian" altogether.

Almost, except that there are a few rare people who are still showing Christ to me. The people from my former Fundy life who are still speaking to me could fit on the fingers of one hand with several leftover fingers, but one of them wrote to me a while ago:

The whole Christian community is such a strange place these days. There is so much hatred from so many people...so few seem to be able to have any compassion or love--even for those with whom we disagree. "My beliefs" and "your beliefs" and "my opinion" and "your opinion" seem to be all we can see. . . . even IF we think someone who has come to terms with his/her sexual orientation is indeed sinning, HOW IN THE WORLD are we justified in making fun, ridiculing, hurting, or doing worse to this person? It makes me so mad. I don't care how DEEPLY I disagree with someone--nothing gives me the right to treat that person wrongfully and nothing speaks Christlikeness about me refusing to associate with that person.

THAT is the kind of Christianity I want to have. I want to love those around me, and do good, and help those who can't help themselves, and accept people just as they are regardless of what I personally think about their choices, remembering that we're all made of the same stuff and that if circumstances were different I could be in their place. The sad thing is that it's so rare to find this kind of Christianity in the church. The one place where everyone should feel safe and loved and accepted is the last place I would send someone who was hurting. The last thing I'd want is for that person to have more hurt piled on in the name of "Christian love."

There's so much hurt and hate associated with the word "Christian" that I don't advertise my faith that way anymore. Instead, I'll just love those people around me as much as I can and hope they can see God in me. Then, if they ask about my faith and find out I'm a Christian, hopefully that label won't turn them away from God altogether.

AGC #12: Children

2012-01-29T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: But, if you're gay you can't have kids!

A: I don't want to have kids. I decided a long, long time ago that if I ever were to be in a position where I could raise children, and if I indeed desired to do so, I'd adopt a child who was already in this world. No need to bring more children into this crazy place when there are enough waiting for someone to love them.

By this piece of logic, though, a person is essentially saying that infertile couples or couples past child-bearing age shouldn't be married or shouldn't be having sex, either. [Sound a bit like The Giver to anyone else?] Chances are you have friends who married and chose not to have children right away or never did have children. Marriage isn't primarily about bearing children and raising a family, although many people choose to do so.

Yes, this means my parents will never be grandparents, at least biologically. My dad already told me he never wants to be called "grandpa," so it's not a big deal. We'll get over it. Really, this was decided long before I came out. Perhaps some day I'll be able to write about the wonderful children I'll foster and/or adopt.

AGC #11: Celibacy

2012-01-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: Why do you have to have sex? Can't you just identify as a lesbian and be celibate? You don't really have to act on those desires, do you?

A: There is a growing trend, especially but not exclusively within Christianity, of choosing to accept members of the LGBT community as long as they remain celibate. Several members of the LGBT community have written books [caveat: this link contains information about an ex-gay ministry which I no longer support, but I am choosing to leave the information on that page as a testimony to how much I have changed and grown in the past years] about being "celibate, gay Christians." Although many ex-gay ministries still posit that homosexuality is akin to a disease that must be cured, it is becoming more popular to accept celibate members of the LGBT community into the religious community at large.

I do not doubt the sincerity of those who are choosing to remain celibate. They are doing so because they believe this is God's will for them, and I will not question what they believe God wants them to do with their own life any more than I would a heterosexual friend who might feel called to celibacy. They have indeed chosen a difficult road to follow, and I applaud their courage and tenacity and will respect their beliefs even though they differ from my own.

I have noticed, though, that the same respect that I am extending to those who have chosen celibacy is not generally extended to those who choose instead to pursue a relationship with another person. I was sadly surprised to discover that the few people who expressed support for me when I came out on October 11 withdrew that support once I started dating in December. Apparently it was okay for me to identify as gay as long as I did not date. I was, and still am, deliriously happy to be in a relationship, but found that many of my former friends could not rejoice with me as they seemed to think I was going down a dangerous road.

This is a case where I think it is best for people to agree to disagree. I am not your conscience or your judge; if you have decided to pursue something in your life that I don't agree with, I can still be happy for you when things are going well. I can still politely inquire about how things are going, can still listen when you talk about your new pursuit, can still treat you with the same decency afforded to every human being on this planet. The idea that we'd agree on absolutely everything is a practical impossibility, so it's likely that at some point you'll talk about an activity or interest of which I don't approve. But you don't need my approval; likely, though, you'd like my friendship. That I can give.

And as far as requiring celibacy for all GLBT in general, what would you think if we turned the tables and decided celibacy was mandated for all redheads, all lefties, all people of a particular race or creed or who spoke a specific language or had a particular IQ? Likely you'd be up in arms, especially if you belonged to the group of people who were forbidden to love. It wouldn't make any sense to you to forbid something good to people based on an aspect of their personhood that was beyond their control. And you'd be right; it doesn't make sense.

I have straight and gay friends who have chosen to remain celibate, and I am glad that they have found something in their lives that works for them. I will continue to rejoice with them and be their friends. But I wouldn't wish that to be the lot of everyone.

AGC #10: Stereotypes

2012-01-25T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: If you're really a lesbian, why don't you wear Birkenstocks, drive a Subaru, have five or six cats, earn a degree in social work, etc. etc.?

A: Stereotypes about different groups of people are fascinating and occasionally humorous to study, but they rarely reflect reality. Yes, I do have a short haircut. No, my haircut doesn't necessarily have anything to do with my sexuality. I know heterosexual women with short hair (some shorter than mine), and I know lesbians with long hair. I think people like stereotypes because it helps them to label others, to put them in a box that they can understand. Well, no one really fits in the box they're put in, do they? I could list other stereotypes of other groups of people and refute them with real-life examples, but I think instead that I will quote my girlfriend:

"Labels are for books, not people."

I'm a lesbian and I drive a gas-guzzling SUV. And I have one cat. And I like Legos and sci-fi stuff and reading and bowling. I wear pants, not skirts. Usually I wear Converse shoes, but I also have a pair of light-up kids' sneakers with flames on them. I work as a cashier. I'm studying to become a librarian. None of these things is related to my sexuality at all, but they're all a part of ME. Rather than throwing a member of the LGBT community in a box, how 'bout just getting to know them as a person instead?

AGC #9: HIV/AIDS

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: So, you're a lesbian. Doesn't that mean you'll get AIDS and die a slow, painful death? Isn't AIDS God's punishment on gay people?

A: Actually, it was far more likely that I'd have gotten infected with HIV from the uncle who raped me than I would from anything I may or may not do with a girlfriend or partner. Unprotected sex and needle use spreads AIDS; being a member of the LGBT community does not. I read an article in the newspaper this past summer that discussed how there are many Americans who are infected with HIV and don't know it, so it is just as likely that a heterosexual person having sex with a person of the opposite gender could contract AIDS. As far as AIDS being God's punishment on gay people, well, why do straight people get it, then? How about all those AIDS orphans in Africa? Talk like that - blaming AIDS, or Hurricane Katrina, or 9/11, or any other disaster - on a particular group of people and then throwing God under the bus - is just ignorant and infuriating.

AGC #8: Lifestyle

2012-01-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: But I can't support your lesbian lifestyle. It goes against my morals.

Let me give you a picture of a typical day in my life:
7:00 AM - Get up, feed the cat, make my bed, shower, get dressed
8:00 AM - Get ready for school.
9:00 AM - Class
12:00 PM - Lunch
1:00 PM - Studying
5:00 PM - Dinner, feed the cat again, get ready for work
6:00 PM - Go to work
12:00 AM - Come home from work, go to bed

Occasionally I don't work or don't have class, and then I do things like watch TV, read, go bowling, do laundry or groceries, clean my house, and yes, I do spend time with my girlfriend. We like to watch Dr. Who together or read together or just walk hand-in-hand and talk. My "lifestyle" is no different from that of a typical graduate student, and none of it affects you. Really. If I were to walk in to your house and sit down on your couch and kiss my girlfriend in front of you and your family, especially if I knew that your family did not believe that it's possible to be a member of the LGBT community and a Christian as well, then my lifestyle would affect you. But as it is, when you say, "I can't support your lifestyle," what I hear is, "Your happiness is not as important to me as my personal comfort with your preferences." And if that's the case, then I'd prefer that you say that. Communicate your discomfort or unease if that's the case, but don't condemn my entire 'lifestyle" of being offensive when it really isn't at all.

AGC #7: Recruitment

2012-01-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: All gay men are child abusers, aren't they? And aren't all gay people trying to recruit children to join their ranks?

You'd think the answer to this is yes by the way people react to learning someone identifies as gay. Statistics, however, tell a different story. The average child molester is a white heterosexual male, and the majority of abusers are someone known to the child, not a random stranger. I can't imagine a worse thing to say to a person than to accuse him/her of being a danger to children simply because of his/her orientation.

As far as recruitment is concerned, LGBT people themselves understand that a person's orientation or gender identity is not a choice, so they would not try to "recruit" another person or attempt to persuade him/her to change. Moreover, most LGBT people are used to the difficulties in discussing their orientation with others and would not likely bring it up at all in the presence of any children, although many are willing to answer any questions that a child might have.

AGC #6: Manners, Please

2012-01-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: My LGBT friends call each other dyke and fag all the time. Is it okay for me to say that, too?

Short answer: No. African-American individuals have been assaulted with any number of racial slurs throughout the history of our country. It has been their custom to turn those slurs around and make them nicknames or terms of affection within their community, but even though those same words may invoke positive meaning when spoken by an African-American person, this does not give someone else the right to speak a racial slur, even in friendly jest.

In the same way, the LGBT community has reclaimed words such as dyke, fag, homo, queen, etc. Please do not use these terms even if you hear a friend do so. If you wish, you can ask your LGBT friend how he/she wishes to be referenced. Chances are pretty good that you won't need to discuss his/her sexual orientation at all, anyway, but it is always okay to ask. For example, I am not bothered by the terms gay, lesbian, or queer, but some lesbians don't prefer the term gay, and some only use the term queer in reference to themselves or the LGBT community at large. And it is never, ever okay to call an LGBT person a homosexual. That term carries too much judgmental weight with it and is considered offensive.

When trying to use the correct terminology, remember the rule-of-thumb you learned when you were a child: when in doubt, go for a more formal term.

AGC #5: Bedroom

2012-01-15T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: So, when two lesbians have sex ...

Seriously? Really? The scary thing is that many people think only of THIS aspect of a relationship when they find out someone identifies as LGBT. I, however, don't think about bedroom activities at all when I learn that one of my heterosexual friends is in a new relationship.

So my answer to this question is pretty simple: I don't want to know what happens in your bedroom, and please don't ask me what happens in mine. As I used to tell my students when they asked me about my age, "This is an example of a rude question. Maybe you didn't know that before, but you do now. So don't ask."

AGC #4: Butch or Femme?

2012-01-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: So, are you a butch or a femme? How about your girlfriend - which one is she?

A lot of people seem to believe that lesbian relationships must necessarily follow the hetero-normative model of a masculine/feminine pair, with one of the lesbians being more "butch" or masculine and the other more "femme" or feminine. While it is true that I do know some lesbian couples who could follow that pattern and are comfortable identifying as a butch/femme pair, this is not the case for everyone.

The butch/femme concept is less binary and more of a continuum, as seems to be the case for many concepts. Many lesbians, myself included, fall somewhere in the middle of that continuum, as would many hetero women. When I decide which activities to participate in - whether raking leaves on a church workday, wiping down mattresses at the homeless shelter, baking cookies for my friends, fixing the toilet in my apartment, or teaching small children in Sunday school - I choose activities that I enjoy and that I am generally skilled at, rather than bothering with whether an activity is a "girl thing" or a "boy thing."

My girlfriend and I are not butch or femme; we're just people.

AGC #3: Googly Eyes

2012-01-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: So, since you're a lesbian, does that mean you're attracted to every woman? Are you attracted to me?

I think this question hits the heart of many people's discomfort with LGBT people. I am a girl, and my friends, for the most part, are also female, and in the past when I have come out to people they have often asked me if that means I am attracted to them.

Again, let's turn this question on its head. If you self-identify as heterosexual, are you attracted to every single member of the opposite sex, including your friends, relatives, classmates, etc.? Probably not. It's the same thing for me; there are people that I find attractive or people that I am attracted to, and yes, on occasion I have found my friends to be quite beautiful, but that doesn't mean that I'm spending every minute undressing them with my eyes or wondering if I could ask them out. Generally speaking, if someone isn't available, because they're already in a relationship or identify as heterosexual or whatever else, I don't bother thinking about whether or not they're attractive, since there really isn't any point in doing so.

AGC #2: Choices

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: So, when did you choose to become a lesbian?

I could turn that question on its head and ask you, "When did you choose to become straight?" I didn't wake up one morning and say to myself, "Self, this whole 'straight' thing is so boring, so normal. Let's try something different. How about we try being gay for a change?"

If, instead, you are asking when I realized I was a lesbian, well, that answer is a bit more complicated. I knew something was different as early as third and fourth grade, but I wouldn't have tagged the word "lesbian" or "gay" onto my difference until I was in high school. I didn't come out to anyone else until college, and it was only recently that I finished coming out by announcing my orientation to the world.

At the danger of sounding like a broken record, I will repeat myself: homosexuality is not a choice. Even many of the ex-gay ministries are acknowledging that no one actively, intentionally chooses to become homosexual. If you think for a minute about the difficulties faced by the LGBT community even in today's world, why would anyone choose that existence? It just doesn't make sense.

AGC #1: Born that Way

2012-01-07T00:00:00.000-05:00

Q: When did you become gay? What caused you to be gay? Are you gay because you were abused as a child?

A lot of people, especially within religious circles but not exclusively so, seem to be focused on discovering the origin of a person's orientation. In ex-gay circles, this focus is the logical conclusion of the concept that homosexuality is a problem to be solved. A lot of people seem to be of the mistaken impression that homosexuality is the direct result of an absent father, an overbearing mother, childhood abuse, etc. etc.

The difficulty with this reasoning, of course, comes when one looks at members of the LGBT community who had healthy family relationships and trauma-free childhoods and those people who have difficult childhoods and yet still identify as heterosexual. Take the abuse proposition for example. By the time they turn 18, one in four women will have become the victim of a sexual assault - molestation, rape, etc. Yet fewer than 25% of women identify as lesbian or bisexual. Although I myself am a rape survivor and also self-identify as a lesbian, the two things do not necessarily correlate.

This is similar to the reasoning behind the following statement: ice cream consumption leads to drowning. Because ice cream consumption and drowning both increase in the summer, one could assume that consuming ice cream causes people to drown, and that the safest thing to do would be to refrain from that Ben&Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch in your freezer. But the two things are not necessarily related.

So, what does cause homosexuality? Nobody knows just yet. The most current research points to possibly causes in-utero, but no one is entirely sure. No one's sure what makes people heterosexual, either, for that matter. And does it really matter? If someone discovered the cause of homosexuality and offered me the opportunity to go back in time and reverse whatever it was that caused me to be born a lesbian, I don't think I would do it. This has not been an easy road, to be sure, and it has been fraught with more than its share of difficulty, but being a member of the LGBT community and the faith community has placed me in a unique position. I'm afraid that if I were straight, I might end up judging members of the LGBT community just as I am being judged. For that perspective alone, it's entirely worth it.

Featured Website: Lego.com

2012-01-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

I am an avid AFOL (Adult Fan of Lego), so the Lego.com website has been very helpful to me in augmenting my Lego collection. I can purchase sets that I cannot find elsewhere and I can even utilize the Pick-a-Brick feature to choose particular pieces I wish to purchase.

I used this Pick-a-Brick feature shortly after my birthday to select some Lego skeletons and trees that I wanted for a Halloween scene I was going to create. Unfortunately, these pieces are only available in Europe, so they would have to be shipped overseas in order to reach me. However, I was assured that the pieces would arrive within two weeks of ordering them.

Two weeks passed, and there were no Legos. Three weeks came and went, and still no Legos. When we reached the fourth week, I began to be a bit nervous. I emailed the company to see what was going on with my order. I wasn't upset or angry, but I was wondering where my order was and when I could expect to see it. I expected a standard, "Your order is being processed, blah blah blah" type message in reply. After all, I had gotten dozens of such messages in the past.

The response that I did get was quite surprising. The Lego representative who contacted me replied specifically to my email, apologized for the delay, and offered me an option: I could choose a set from the website to replace the skeletons I had ordered, and they would expedite that set to me. In addition, they would continue to work to see that I actually received my skeletons as ordered.

I was flabbergasted. Here was a company offering to make amends for something that may or may not have been their fault. Not only that, but Lego went above and beyond to provide me with a substitute while I waited for my skeleton order to arrive.

I'll be honest: Lego is unlikely to lose my business any time soon. I could certainly purchase my Legos through other venues, but ultimately the company is still receiving my money. However, Lego's quick response to my situation ensured that they had a more than satisfied customer instead of a disgruntled one.

UPDATE: Since the writing of this post, I have once again contacted Lego regarding this particular order. Since the original order never arrived, Lego refunded the cost of my order and resent it; the new order arrived within two weeks.

Crush

2012-01-03T00:00:00.000-05:00

Mac, Carrie. Crush. Custer, WA: Orca Books, 2006.

Hope lives with her hippie parents on a commune, but for the summer she is going to stay with her sister in New York while her parents head to Asia to build a new school. Hope is not looking forward to stay with her sister, but she meets some new friends and falls in love, opening her eyes to possibilities, not just for everyone else, but also for herself.

This book is very, very short. At just over 100 pages with fairly large text, I finished this book in a short portion of an afternoon. It's not a bad story, and I'd definitely recommend it for reluctant readers or others who are intimidated by larger books, but I felt unsatisfied when I finished, as though I had been given an appetizer instead of an entree.

A Giggle for Today

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Jumpstart the World

2011-12-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hyde, Catherine Ryan. Jumpstart the World. New York: Alfred Knopf, 2010.

Elle has just moved into her own apartment. At 16, she's hardly old enough to be on her own, but her mother's boyfriend forced her mom to choose between him and Elle, so Elle is given her own apartment on the other side of town. Elle's mom pays the rent and utilities, and provides Elle with money for groceries, but to say that this arrangement has put a strain on their relationship would be an understatement. Elle is in a new neighborhood, at a new school, and completely alone, so she is glad for the friends she finds at school and for her neighbors as well, until she discovers a secret that throws her world for a loop.

I had a really great quote here that I pulled from the book, but unfortunately Blogger decided to delete it before I could save it, and I've already removed my bookmark. All that to say, Elle learned a lot of great lessons in this book, not the least of which being that the people we love could die at any time, so we need to treat them with as much love and care as we can. I was also glad for Elle's choices as far as her relationship with her mom is concerned.

2011: A Baker's Dozen

2011-12-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

This year it was particularly difficult for me to decide on the top ten books I read throughout the year. Part of this is due to the fact that I read a lot of books - having access to the San Francisco Public Library was an amazing thing. The other problem, though, was that the books I read were from a variety of genres, and I had several favorites in each genre, so it was hard to narrow my list down to just ten items. So I didn't. Instead, this year there's a baker's dozen - the thirteen books from my reading this year that I think everyone should read. Without further ado, here's the list, in no particular order:

1. Evolving in Monkey Town by Rachel Held Evans.
2. I'm OK - You're Not by John Shore
3. Bulletproof Faith by Candace Chellew-Hodge
4. Love Wins by Rob Bell
5. The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg
6. The Strange Case of Origami Yoda by Tom Angelberger
7. Hello, Groin by Beth Goobie
8. The Running Dream by Wendelin Van Draanen
9. After Ever After by Jordan Sonnenblick
10. Staying Fat for Sara Byrnes by Chris Crutcher
11. A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park
12. Letters from the Closet by Tony Ferrante

And last but not least, a book containing a chapter written by yours truly
13. Unfair: Why the "Christian" View of Gays Doesn't Work by John Shore

How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

2011-12-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Ghislain, Gary. How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend. San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2011.

David's father is a psychologist who specializes in difficult cases. David has been taking it all in stride, adjusting as much as he can, until he meets Zelda. Zelda says she is 325 years old and is on a quest to find her chosen one, whom she would take back to her home world and place in a zoo. David accompanies Zelda on her quest to find her chosen one, Johnny Depp. Will Zelda be able to locate her chosen one before the key to her interdimensional door disappears?

I saw the title of this book and I just had to pick it up. The book is funny and I did enjoy reading about Zelda's antics as she tracked down Johnny Depp. Unfortunately, the book suffers from a horrid case of "slow end game." The loosely woven plot did not wrap up at the end of the story, and I was left quite unsatisfied.

Featured Website: Rachel Held Evans

2011-12-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Rachel Held Evans, like many Millienials, has a blog where she discusses the things she has been learning and thinking about as she studies the Scriptures and as she observes the world around her. I especially appreciate her "Ask a ..." series, where she invites people from different religious groups to discuss their beliefs and to answer reader questions on her blog. I enjoy reading Rachel's posts; her writing style is clear and her approach to a variety of topics is gracious and open-ended. Rachel doesn't claim to have all of the answers, but she isn't afraid to ask the tough questions.

Geography Club

2011-12-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hartinger, Brent. Geography Club. New York: Harper Teen, 2003.

Russel is sure he's the only gay kid in his school. Then he finds another person through an online chat room. Then he discovers two more. Then another. Soon there are enough LGBT teens that they don't feel alone anymore, and they want to be able to meet regularly on school campus, but they don't want to advertise their orientations, so they start a geography club. They figure no one will want to join a geography club. Until someone else does.

I appreciated the discussion of bullying in this book. I also enjoyed the way the teens were able to talk to each other and felt like they could be themselves while they were at geography club. I definitely was glad for the way the book ended. But I would have to say my favorite character was not Russel, but Brian. Brian is the one kid in the school who doesn't fit into any group and is always picked on. No one takes much notice of him until the group gets into a disagreement and Russel finds himself alone. He sits with Brian at lunch, and Brian chooses to sacrifice part of himself for Russel, in a way that shows that Brian has more character than most of the other students in the school. For that subplot alone, this book is worth reading.

I am J

2011-12-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

Beam, Chris. I am J. New York: Little, Brown, and Company, 2011.

J is a boy trapped in a girl's body. His family thinks he is just going through a phase or has an interesting personality, but they do not understand how he could possibly be a boy when he was clearly born a girl. J does as much as he can to make himself look like a boy and even goes to therapy in hopes of being able to get hormones to begin his transition. Meanwhile, he is forced to move out of his house while his mother and his father come to terms with his transgenderism.

I enjoyed the fact that this book was told from inside J's head. The pronoun issues became a bit complicated at first, as other people in J's life referred to him as a girl, but his internal monologue referred to himself as a boy. I have read elsewhere that parents of transgendered children often go through a grieving process where they experience the "death" of their son or daughter and adjust to the new development of their daughter or son. Nonetheless, there are few enough YA stories of transgendered people, and I appreciated the way this novel handled this difficult issue.

An Interview with the Author

2011-12-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

So, Jenni, you have been at graduate school for four months now. How are classes going?
Well, my classes are done for the semester. They weren't as hard as I thought they would be, and I think I learned a few things from the projects and other assignments I had to complete. It was kind of interesting to be back on this side of the desk again.

That's right - this must be odd for you to be the student instead of the teacher. Do you miss teaching?
I miss my students. There are parts of teaching that I miss. Some of the things - random administrative duties and some of the other required parts of my day - I don't miss at all. But I will admit that it was easier to work one job than three, even if the one job required as much work as three.

Three jobs - wow! How in the world do you juggle all of that on top of a busy school schedule?
To quote the character Temperance Brennan from the TV show Bones: "First I do one, then the other." Seriously, though, it's been a bit complicated to keep everything straight, or rather, to keep track of everything.

Straight, huh? This semester is also when you decided to come out to your friends and family, isn't it?
Yes. After a lot of thought and prayer and consideration and tears, I finally did publicly come out on October 11 - National Coming Out Day.

I'm sure that was difficult. What was the hardest part about coming out?
It definitely was hard. The hardest part, I think, was fielding all the reactions from people who do not understand or who are choosing not to understand. I spent a lot of time in a pretty strict religious group, and most of my friends are still involved with that group. So they can't really wrap their brains around the idea that I can love Jesus and be attracted to women at the same time. I got more than my share of messages from them - things that probably were intended to be "Hate the sin, love the sinner" type messages, but that ended up being "Hate the sin, hate the sinner."

Did you lose contact with a lot of people after coming out?
I did. Actually, the last year and a half has been a process of losing contact with a lot of my old friends. It's been hard and sad, and a big part of me wishes it didn't have to be that way, but just like my friends said that they couldn't just ignore my orientation and go against their convictions to be my friend, I also can't pretend to be someone I'm not just to make them happy. It helps that I have a good support network around me, now, too.

So, who do you count as your support network?
I actually draw my support from a couple of different places. Online, I am a part of the Gay Christian Network, which has been amazing, as many of the others in that group have also experienced difficulties in dealing with the religious beliefs of their families. It's also a good place for me to ask the questions I can't ask anywhere else. I'm also part of a group of former BJU students and it's been good to talk to them as well and get encouragement and support from them.

Do you draw any support from people in your community?
I'm beginning to. It's hard when you move to a new place to try to find your spot in the community. But I'm part of a wonderful open and affirming church where I've met people who love God and love me and for whom my orientation is a non-issue. My church is also a safe place to ask the hard questions about my beliefs and which beliefs are important for me to keep now and which I feel I can leave by the wayside. I'm also getting to know my fellow students in library school, as well as other members of the GLBT community here.

I heard that there's a certain person who's a SLIS student and a member of the GLBT community that you've gotten to know particularly well.
[Blushes] Why, yes, yes there is. I never, ever imagined myself being at a place where I could act on the attractions I feel. For the longest time I squashed all of that and imagined I'd be alone and lonely forever. Even after I came out, I didn't expect to begin dating this soon. I'm continually amazed at how lucky I am; my girlfriend is completely wonderful and I totally don't deserve her.

Wow. It sounds like your plate is pretty full, between classes, work, church, and dating. Looking back at this semester, would you say your choice to come to library school was a good one?
Definitely. I wouldn't change one thing about it. It's been a busy semester and it's had its ups and downs, but it's been so worth it.

Before we go, what are your plans for this Christmas break?
I'll be working a lot - this is a busy season in the retail business. And I'm going to catch up on some reading and relaxing, things I've had to neglect a bit as the end of the semester hit and things were due in classes. And of course, I'll be spending time with my girlfriend. I'm glad we have this break to spend some time together before the spring semester smothers us.

Geeky Twitches

2011-12-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

The Year They Burned the Books

2011-12-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

Garden, Nancy. The Year They Burned the Books. New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, 1999.

Jamie is the editor-in-chief of her school's newspaper, and early in her senior year she publishes an editorial concerning the school's choice to make condoms available in the nurse's office after school on Fridays. Meanwhile, a concerned parent is running for the school board in the hopes that she might be able to alter the school's health curriculum to remove any mention of sex outside of marriage or homosexuality. Things quickly spiral out of control: the faculty sponsor of the newspaper is put on administrative leave, the health textbooks are removed from the school, and everyone is up in arms. The school newspaper staff is divided: some, like Jamie, believe that the school should educate students about all aspects of the world they're about to face; others believe that the school has a responsibility to educate students according to the conservative moral views of the majority in the community. Jamie herself is coming to terms with feelings she's never acknowledged before and wondering how she'll obtain information about homosexuality when all the library books on that topic have been locked up.

I enjoyed this story, especially once I realized it had been published shortly after I graduated from high school. I appreciated the librarian angle in this book, which reinforced the theory that libraries should be storehouses of information, not moral guides to a community. I was sad when the school board member and her minions burned books in a bonfire, even though they were books they themselves had purchased for that purpose. I also appreciated Jamie's conflict with her friend Nomi, which is the topic of another blog post. Overall, this book is very well done and definitely worth reading.

David Inside Out

2011-12-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Bantle, Lee. David Inside Out. New York: Henry Hold & Company, 2009.

David is on his school's cross-country team. All is well until his best friend comes out to him and David realizes that he has a crush on a teammate. David does everything he can think of to deny his orientation: he begins to date a girl, he snaps a rubber band on his wrist whenever he has a thought about a guy, but the feelings don't disappear. At the end of the novel, David finally comes to terms with his orientation and apologizes to his best friend for avoiding him.

I can appreciate David's reaction to his friend's coming out, and I can understand his difficulties accepting his orientation. However, the sexual scenes in this book are quite graphic, more so than I think is entirely necessary to benefit the plot or develop the characters. Because of this, I recommend approaching this book with extreme caution. There are other, better novels to read, folks.

Of All the Stupid Things

2011-12-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

Diaz, Alexandra. Of All the Stupid Things. New York: Egmont, 2010.

Tara, Pinkie, and Whitney have been friends forever. There couldn't be three more different people, but somehow they manage to make it work. Then a rumor and an argument spiral out of control, and the three friends are separated, each trying to come to terms with the truth. Tara is dealing with an absent father, a cheating boyfriend, and possibly a new girlfriend; Pinkie is still grieving her mother's death, and Whitney doesn't know what to do with herself when she discovers she is not the center of everyone's universe.

Although I will admit that both Pinkie and Whitney managed to get on my nerves throughout this story, I can understand how people who seem to be from different universes can become friends, so I won't begrudge Tara her friends. I was glad both that they weren't perfect and that they manged to work out their differences by the end of the story. And I was especially glad for Tara's mom's reaction to Tara when she told her she was dating a girl. Tara was able to talk to her mom honestly about how she felt about her girlfriend and how confused she felt that she had left a boyfriend for a girlfriend. Her mom said, "So maybe you're someone who falls in love with a person, not a gender" (201). A wise friend of mine gave me similar advice when I was struggling through coming out; she suggested that I not worry about the gender of the person I love, that labels don't really matter that much. And I've passed that very piece of advice along to others as well; there's something to be said for being just a person and not a label.

WIth a Name Like Love

2011-12-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hilmo, Tess. With a Name Like Love. Harrisonburg, VA: RR Donnelley & Sons Company, 2011.

Ollie's daddy is a traveling preacher. Along with her four sisters and her parents, Ollie travels throughout the country, stopping in various towns for her daddy to preach a three-day revival. When they arrive in Binder, however, they realize that all is not as it should be. Ollie meets a boy named Jimmy who is taking care of himself while his mother is in jail for murdering his abusive father. Ollie is convinced that Jimmy's mother is innocent, and she is sure that she can find the evidence to prove it before her family leaves town. But will she be able to find it in time?

I really enjoyed this story. Not only was it practically squeaky-clean, but Ollie and her family do make a difference in the town of Binder. Ollie is convinced that there is a lot of good in the town of Binder, if only people can stop judging each other.

A Coat for Jesse

2011-12-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

One of the unfortunate side effects of working retail is that I'm around stuff all day long. I see stuff, I straighten stuff, I put stuff back where it belongs. I fold stuff and return stuff and direct people to stuff and answer questions about stuff. I see the new stuff when it comes in too early (swim suits in December, anyone?), and I see the fun, shiny stuff that goes on sale.

Spending five hours straightening the toys in the toy department or folding clothes in the clothing department has a serious effect on my priorities when I decide what to do with my paycheck. Fortunately for me, as a grad student I don't happen to have enough extra cash for stuff. At least, not usually. Other things - rent, gas, groceries, cat food - take priority.

Occasionally, however, I find myself anticipating a paycheck with a bit of wiggle room. Oh, then it's fun to think about what kind of STUFF I might possibly buy. Should I get holiday goodies, or a pair of pants to replace the ones that disintegrated this past weekend, or some new LEGOs, or an e-book? Should I buy a treat for my cat or get the oil changed in my car or get my hair cut? The options are endless.

I have one of those paychecks coming up this week. I paid rent on my last paycheck, so this next one should have a bit of room for something. I was considering buying myself some stocking stuffers or ingredients to bake some Christmas goodies, or maybe a pair of gloves since the weather in this town is so finicky. I was pondering the possibilities as I entered the bowling alley for my weekly league night when I noticed the angel tree.

For those of you who haven't seen one, an angel tree is a Christmas tree with very special ornaments. Instead of the usual shiny ornaments, candles, bows, etc., an angel tree bears the names of children who haven't made it onto Santa's list. If no one does anything, they'll have nothing for Christmas. Perhaps their parents are unemployed. Perhaps they are in foster care. Perhaps one of their parents is in jail. In any case, the angel tree kids list their hopes on a little card that gets placed on the tree, waiting for someone to help.

I was a bit early for bowling, so I stopped by the angel tree to see if there were any names left. That's when I met Jesse.

I guess to say that I met him is a bit of an exaggeration. There was no little boy by this tree. But there was a card for a 6-year old boy named Jesse, and I was hoping he'd want some LEGOs or something I'm fairly confident I could choose for him. I like buying toys for random kids, especially for kids that get left off Santa's list. Usually I don't have a lot of money to do that with, but maybe I could get Jesse some toys this year.

Then I looked at what he was asking for. Jesse is six years old, which means he's probably in first grade. When I was in first grade, I played with Transformers and LEGOs and my bicycle and I had just discovered books and reading. You know what Jesse wants for Christmas?

A coat.

Yes, this six-year old, who could ask for anything in the world, asked for a coat. A coat, of all things. Forget the toys or the games or any of the "fun" presents, Jesse wants what many children complain about: clothing as a Christmas gift.

So this year I'm forgoing anything in my stocking (or my cat's stocking, for that matter), and I'm going to make do with the pants that have not yet disintegrated, and I'll just check books out of the library instead of buying any new ones. I can't do much this Christmas, but I can make sure that a little boy named Jesse has a coat to keep him warm this winter. And he'll probably find some LEGOs in that package, too, since everyone should have something to play with on Christmas.

Gravel Queen

2011-12-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

Benduhn, Tea. Gravel Queen. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2006.

Aurin and her friends Kenney and Fred spend a lot of time doing the things Kenney wants to do. Aurin and Fred are happy to follow in Kenney's footsteps until Neila arrives. Aurin quickly develops a crush on Neila, and they begin spending more time together. Kenney cannot understand why she's been thrown out of the driver's seat and she lashes out at Aurin. Soon Aurin finds herself in the middle of a mess: how can she continue to pursue her relationship with Neila while maintaining a friendship with Kenney?

This was an interesting book, and I enjoyed watching the dynamics between Aurin and her various friends. I found Aurin's relationship with her parents to be an interesting one. She was grounded during part of the story, but somehow her parents still allowed her friends to come over and visit her. Nonetheless, this story was worth checking out of the library.

Agree to Disagree

2011-12-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

“Nomi!” Jamie ran after her. “Can’t we disagree and still befriends?”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. It’s too important anissue, Jamie. Not agreeing means we’re very wide apart, morally, sort of. Imean, it’d be like not agreeing on abortion, or homosexuality, or murder, orsomething like that.”

Jamie felt a sudden chill. “Well, we probably don’t agree onmost of those. But can’t we agree to disagree? Look, you probably knowthis—Clark’s invited me to debate at your youth group. It seems to me that’s ahealthy way to deal with disagreements. Maybe we can all learn from eachother.”

“Maybe. We can learn what the other side thinks, anyway. ButI don’t see how you and I can be friends if we’re so far apart. It’s hard forme to go on being friends with someone who I think believes in immorality.”

Jamie hesitated. Then, trying not to sound angry, she said,“Did it ever occur to you that I might think what you believe is just asimmoral? But that doesn’t mean I can’t like you as a person, respect you, wantto be your friend.”

(The Day They Burned the Books, p. 67)

Interestingly enough, the above passage is an excerpt from a novel published in 1998, and the two characters are discussing whether the school nurse should make condoms available in her office at the public high school. The community, the school, and the school's newspaper staff become divided over this issue, and Jamie and Nomi's friendship suffers as a result.

It's been approximately two months since I started coming out. It hasn't been an easy road, it hasn't always been fun, and I have grieved the loss of several Nomi-like friendships where my friend simply could not look past my orientation. However, I've also been amazed and encouraged by the friends for whom this is not an issue or who have been willing to agree to disagree. I've also fielded some very interesting questions from more than a few people and been involved in some discussions that have led me to a better understanding of exactly how much the Christian community does not know about homosexuality. Periodically I will be interrupting my regularly scheduled book reviews to post some of those questions and answers in the hopes that even if we don't agree, we still might be able to understand.

Worth a Thousand Words

2011-11-30T00:00:00.000-05:00

Shadow Walkers

2011-11-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hartinger, Brent. Shadow Walkers.Woodbury, MN: Flux, 2010.

Zach lives with his grandparents and younger brother on a small island off the coast of Washington state. Without much to do on an island, most of Zach's time is spent online. When his brother Gilbert is kidnapped one day, Zach resorts to desperate means, using astral projecting in an attempt to locate his brother before it's too late.

I really wanted to enjoy this book. Really, I did. But the astral projection stuff just got a bit too weird for me. Zach bought some special incense in order to leave his body and find his brother, so most of the book involves Zach zipping around like a ghost, discovering what's happening with his brother, and then trying to invent a plausible reason why he'd have that information so the police would follow up on his leads. Someone else might find this book fascinating, but I had to put it down.

The Borrower

2011-11-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

Makkai, Rebecca. The Borrower. New York: Viking, 2011.

Lucy is a children's librarian at a small public library. She enjoys suggesting books to her young patrons and chatting with the "regulars" as they appear for the weekly Chapter Book Story Hour. The mother of Ian, one of her young patrons, expresses some concern over her son's choice of books containing witches, magic, or "girly" themes. Lucy has to walk a fine line between honoring the mother's request and honoring the First Amendment. Soon she discovers that Ian is being required to attend an ex-gay youth group. Ian chafes under his parents' rules and decides to run away ... to the library. When Lucy puts Ian in her car on the pretense of taking him home and ends up running away with him, she soon has to decide whether it would be easier to keep running away or to run back home.

I found the beginning of this book to be very interesting. I enjoyed the chapters where Ian would sneak books out of the library and when he bored his babysitter by playing a very slow, very old computer game. I appreciated all the references to classic children's and YA literature. However, the last third of this book went very slowly. I was disappointed not to discover what happened with Ian once he returned home. This book suffers from a horrible case of bad end-game. It's worth checking out of the library, but I only recommend the first 150-200 pages.

Wild Things

2011-11-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

I volunteer at a local elementary school, reading stories to preschool children once a week. My co-volunteer and I alternate weeks, so half of the time I get the privilege of pretending that I am a child and just enjoying a story that someone else is reading. This past week was one of those times.

The book of choice this week was Where the Wild Things Are, an award-winning story with memorable illustrations and a fairly simple story line. This story stands out in my mind, not due to any warm and fuzzy childhood memory, but because when I was in college it was set as an example of dangerous literature.

Dangerous, you might say; what could possibly be dangerous about a children's book, and a well-known one at that? I was taught that this story is problematic because Max, the protagonist, disobeys and disrespects his mother, and then instead of being properly contrite and facing his punishment, disappears from his room into a fantasy world. When he returns to his home after his adventures, he finds that his punishment - going to bed without supper - has been reversed and a hot meal is waiting for him. Clearly this book teaches children to disobey their parents and that actions do not really have consequences.

As I listened to this book being read aloud, I listened to this story with new ears and I began to wonder about the validity of the objections to this classic children's story. When I listened this time I heard the story from a very different perspective. I heard a story of a small boy who disobeyed and was punished, to be sure, who entered a fantasy world where he was king of all the land and had wild adventures, but who came back home because he missed the one "who loved him best of all." He came home to find his supper waiting for him, a clear indication that all was forgiven and that the one who loved him best of all was ready to forgive, forget, and move on.

Seen through this lens, this story sounds more like the biblical story of the prodigal son and less like an author's attempt at corrupting the youth. This sounds like a story of grace and mercy, things that I think are important to God. This sounds like a story of a boy who was dearly loved, since he knew exactly where to go when he was homesick. This sounds like a story of a parent who knew her child's frailties and loved him anyway. This sounds like the story of God, who loves us in spite of our weaknesses, who is ready and waiting to take us back when we realize how homesick we are and how we want to be with the one "who loves us best of all," who is willing to offer us forgiveness and a hot meal.

Shadowmagic

2011-11-22T00:00:00.000-05:00

Lenahan, John. Shadowmagic. London: The Friday Project, 2008.

This book is billed as "A Lord of the Rings for the 21st century. Only a lot shorter. And funnier. And completely different."

Conor thinks his dad is a bit odd for forcing him to learn swordfighting and teaching him Ancient Gaelic, that is, until two people on horseback break through the front of his house and take him to Tir-Na-Nog, an ancient Celtic "neverland" of sorts. Conor and his father are soon involved in an epic battle involving an ancient prophecy and family secrets long hidden.

This was a fun story. It was exactly like its description - like Lord of the Rings, only shorter, funnier, and completely different. I enjoy fantasy, and any story that involves imps and banshees and trees with personalities is right up my alley. I will probably finish reading the sequel, Prince of Hazel and Oak, sometime tonight, and I eagerly await the next installment in the series.

A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie

2011-11-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

Blackstone, Matt. A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie. New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, 2011.

Rene is a high-school freshman with OCD. He passes up face-down coins, smells his left hand when he's nervous, and doesn't do anything when the digits in the time add up to thirteen. He is trying his best to survive high school and keep his English teacher from leaving, while becoming friends with Gio, the cool new kid at school.

Unfortunately, folks, this is where the plot ends. Actually, there isn't much of a plot. It's kind of sad. Books about teens with disabilities or different abilities are quite popular, and I've read several interesting YA novels featuring teens with OCD. This novel, however, has no plot. The cover is interesting, the title is interesting, but the book is just not interesting at all.

Annie on My Mind

2011-11-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. New York: Ferrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2007.

Liza met Annie at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Though they attended different schools and lived in completely different neighborhoods, Liza was enchanted. She and Annie quickly became friends, and as they spent time together, their friendship blossomed into love. However, as Liza school is facing a possible closure, the reputation of every student soon becomes very important. When her classmates find out that Liza is a lesbian, the school's reputation and Liza's relationship with Annie are on shaky ground. Liza has some rocky ground ahead of her as she tries to choose between what is right and what is easy.

This book was originally published in 1982 and caused no small amount of controversy at that time. Obviously if Liza and Annie had met each other in 2011, things would have been different and hopefully much better for them. Annie on My Mind opened the door for more LGBT lit to be published, reaching teens across the spectrum and helping those who love them to understand where they're coming from.

Apologies

2011-11-16T00:00:00.000-05:00

I borrowed this picture for an earlier post when I reviewed the book unChristian. I have found it fascinating that the fundamentalist churches in general place much emphasis on confronting others with their sins, on apologizing for sins against other Christians, and on making things right with Christians, but that we don't, as a whole, apologize to the world at large when we screw up. And let's face it: when the church screws up, it screws up loudly and enthusiastically.

A friend recently issued an apology on her blog based on the choice of Bob Jones University to keep Chuck Phelps on their board of directors. I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with what she has said. Although my views on many things have changed drastically from the time I was at Bob Jones University, I am more than willing to allow that God has enough grace to cover their beliefs and mine, even if we approach the same book and come away with very different answers. There are many areas where I am more than willing to "agree to disagree" and continue to be grateful for the lessons I learned and the friendships I formed at my alma mater.

However, this blatant expression of ungrace, of anti-testimony, is exactly what drove me away from fundamentalism in the first place. Jesus placed a high priority on loving our neighbors and showing His love to the world. When we shelter ourselves from the outside world, when we "close ranks" and attempt to hide the sin in our camp, this is exactly when we become an anti-testimony. Instead of drawing people to Christ's love, the church is giving the rest of the world yet another reason not to ever darken its doors. I've met too many people who have been pushed out of church by the hate they saw there.

I echo what Rachel said on her blog: I am sorry. I aligned myself with a group whose reputation for ungrace has reached monumental proportions. By my silence I consented to their actions. For many years I also taught numerous children of various ages and in various schools, Bible clubs, Sunday schools, etc. In each of those cases, I mindlessly parroted the party line, thus ensuring that the next generation will also be well skilled in demonstrating ungrace and will believe that they are doing right, as an authority in their life told them this was correct. James rightly warned against the dangers of being an educator; not only am I responsible for my actions, but I have spurred further actions in the hundreds of children who passed through my classroom doors.

I was a jerk. I supported jerks in my silence. I taught others to be jerks as well.

Tamar and Tina

2011-11-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

The sex abuse scandal at Penn State has been in the news and flying around Facebook and the blogosphere recently. More than a few people, especially in Christian circles, have compared this scandal, and the fallout thereof, with the Chuck Phelps scandal that came to a head earlier this year.

For the most part I've chosen not to read the posts, follow the links, or involve myself in the discussions. I've dealt with sexual abuse in a far more personal way for long enough this year, and, quite frankly, I don't like thinking about it. There are times when this issue rears its ugly head and I find myself unable to think about or deal with anything else, but lately this hasn't been a problem.

This Sunday, though, as I flipped through my Sunday bulletin before the service began, I discovered that we would be reading 2 Samuel 13, which is the story of the rape of Tamar. This is not a Bible story I ever look forward to hearing. I hate how Amnon plots to rape his half-sister, how his friend encourages him to do it and even helps him come up with a plan, and how Tamar's father, King David, doesn't seem to care that his daughter has been raped. This is not a pleasant story, and it's one that I have skipped or skimmed in the past.

My brain was just about to take a nosedive into survival mode, which means my heart was racing, there was a rushing sound in my ears, and while I was sitting very, very still, my brain was frantically calculating the distance to the nearest exit and the likelihood of my egress going unnoticed.

Then something happened that I never would have expected: My pastor gave the congregation permission to not pay attention. She warned us that the topic was likely to be difficult to digest and that it was okay for us to choose to tune out, to make use of the finger labyrinth [pictured below] provided in our bulletin, or even to get up and leave if we needed to. Having this permission - a "get out of jail free" card, if you will - made me feel safe enough to keep listening.

What we discussed about the rape of Tamar and the scandal at Penn State was exactly what had bothered me so much about all of these abuse stories. In each case there were adults who knew what was going on and chose to ignore the situation, or worse, to blame the victim.

And I learned something important: in the state of Indiana, every single person is considered a mandated reporter. This means that no one's off the hook - we are all responsible to make sure the children we encounter are safe. We are all required by law to report any abuse or suspected abuse.

If there's anything I've noticed about Jesus by reading the red parts of the Bible, it's that Jesus always rooted for the underdog, the outcast, those who slipped through the cracks of society. If anyone can be defined as an outcast or an underdog, an abuse victim certainly can. God and the state of Indiana both agree that we need to help those kids who cannot help themselves.

By the time they turn 18, one in four girls and one in six boys has become a victim of abuse. Let's stand up for the Tamars and the Tinas of this world until we can truly see that it is "one in four no more."

Pathfinder

2011-11-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

Card, Orson Scott. Pathfinder. New York: Simon Pulse, 2010.

Rigg has a special talent: he can see the paths that people and animals have made as they walk. He knows where people have gone, how long ago they were near, and how to find animals in the forest. Rigg's father has been trianing him to use his talents. When a tragic accident in the forest takes his father's life, Rigg sets out on his final mission: to find his sister and his mother.

Meanwhile a man named Ram is on the first ship to jump into hyperspace. An inexplicable accident causes his ship to become nineteen separate ships, all traveling in different folds of time but all heading toward the same planet. Ram, the only human not in stasis on this ship, must decide what needs to be done in order to save those on the ship and to complete their mission.

I love books by Orson Scott Card, and I especially love YA fantasy, so this book was a perfect combination for me. The story was interesting, if predictable, and Card employed a strategy similar to what he used in Ender's Game: each chapter starts with a snippet from one plot, then the rest of the chapter is told from a different perspective. These two bits helped me to piece together what was going on and to enjoy the fantasy aspect even more because of what happened in the sci-fi sections. Stop by your local library and check this book out if you have a chance.

Featured Website: It Gets Better

2011-11-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

It Gets Better is a project started to combat the rash of teen suicides. What started as just one video encouraging teens that life gets better soon turned into a collection of thousands of videos created by corporations, celebrities, and concerned citizens.

It's been quite a few years since I was a teen, and I never faced the level of bullying that LGBT teens deal with today, but even I have been encouraged by the videos that are a part of the It Gets Better project. I appreciate their reminder that indeed it does get better.

Cut

2011-11-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

McCormick, Patricia. Cut. New York: Scholastic, 2000.

Callie is a cutter: in order to avoid other issues in her life, she chooses to cut herself. She has been sent to a residential treatment facility, but she is choosing not to speak, not to cooperate, not to heal. Eventually Callie finds her voice and makes a choice for healing.

This is a short book, and a good book, but not an easy book to read. Again, as a former English teacher, I would place this book on my classroom shelf, if I had a classroom or a shelf.

The Implosion of Aggie Winchester

2011-11-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

Zielin, Lara. The Implosion of Aggie Winchester. New York: Penguin, 2011.

Aggie is a Goth girl. Aggie is also the principal's daughter, and those two things don't always mix well. Throw in a best friend who is pregnant, a mixed-up prom election, and a breast cancer diagnosis for the principal, and Aggie's got more than she can handle. Aggie spends much of this book attempting to do the right thing, failing miserably at it, and trying to discover who she really is.

I enjoyed parts of this book. I liked how Aggie was trying to do the right thing, even though she often made mistakes in doing that. I liked that she was (usually) very honest with her family. I very much appreciated the ending of this book. What I didn't like was the fact that Aggie often attempted to tell her parents the truth and was not believed. Perhaps the author added this element to induce the frustration that Aggie likely felt in these discussions with her parents.

Featured Website: GLSEN

2011-11-04T00:00:00.000-04:00

The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN - pronounced "glisten") is working to make schools safe for students. GLSEN promotes the creation of Gay-Straight Alliances within schools, distributes "safe space" kits to allow teachers and other education professionals to make their classrooms safe for teens.

Regardless of anyone's personal position on homosexuality, it is obvious that teens are facing more bullying and in more forms than ever before. Cyberbullying brings the hallway and playground bullies into a teen's online life and home, so they don't really feel that they have anywhere to escape. And stories of LGBT teens who have felt bulled and then chosen to end their lives are so commonplace they don't even make the headline news all the time anymore.

GLSEN is working hard to make schools a safe place for teens and to educate teachers and other students about LGBT issues and bullying.

Evolving in Monkey Town

2011-11-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

Evans, Rachel Held. Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2010.

Rachel Held Evans's memoir should be a part of everyone's home library. Evans describes the unique position the Millennial generation of Christians is in: being educated in the fine art of defending one's faith, more so than our predecessors, but also more connected to people globally than ever before. It is entirely possible that Evans and her peers could defend Christianity in a discussion with a Muslim, but it is also highly likely that they have all had personal contact with a Muslim through work, school, or the internet. Evans defines the perspective of Millennials and also takes the reader through her life story, showing how Evans herself learned to ask hard questions and not to be afraid of not having all the answers. This book will be going on my shelf, very near to Lauren Winner's Girl Meets God.

All Hallows Eve

2011-10-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

I have already explained in last year's post exactly what I think about the festivities revolving around Halloween. In this past year I have discovered a lot of things about myself, preferences and opinions that I was not able to consider until almost recently. One of the things I discovered is that I like Halloween. I like ghosts and zombies and frankenpeople and bats and spiders and haunted houses. I like wearing black and orange striped socks. I love dressing up in costumes. Pumpkins are amazingly wonderful creations both for eating and carving. I just really like Halloween.

Some of my friends also love Halloween. In fact, I daresay a few of them like it much more than I do. Some of my other friends don't like Halloween at all or choose not to participate in Halloween-related festivities. I don't mind that my friends have different opinions about this holiday; I also have friends who like (or don't like) White Castle hamburgers, who like (or don't like) watching Star Trek, who like (or don't like) the color blue. I am glad all of my friends aren't exactly like me; meeting people with different opinions, experiences, and ideas is part of what's so cool about, well, meeting people.

If I chose not to associate with people who were different from me or who had different hobbies, preferences, beliefs, etc. I would quickly find myself to be quite alone. I am glad for the opportunities I have this year to meet all kinds of new people, some who share my Christian values and beliefs and some who do not. Do I want my non-Christian friends to accept Christ's gift of salvation? Absolutely. But I'm not friends with them exclusively so they will agree with my particular set of answers to life's big questions. I'm friends with them because God wants me to love everyone, all of my neighbors, even those who don't agree with me on everything.

Chances are pretty good that my friends, all adults and all intelligent, have already decided what they believe. If one of my friends were to attempt to convince me to, say, convert to Islam or Judaism or Buddhism, I would be unconvinced, they would likely be frustrated, and our friendship would fizzle and die. How much better for me to allow my friendships to blossom and flourish, to let conversations flow as they will, and to let God, who is omnipotent and sovereign where I am neither, be in charge of ordering the events of a person's life in order to lead him/her to salvation. If my friends want to talk about religion or philosophy, absolutely I will converse with them. If any of them were to ask me about salvation, I'd gladly explain. But I won't shove my beliefs down their throats, knowing that they would likely choke and our friendship would die. And with our friendship, I would also lose the opportunity to be a minister of God's grace in that person's life. Funny how an action based in love can prevent the possibility of future love-based actions.

The Children are Free

2011-10-29T00:00:00.000-04:00

Miner, Jeff and John Connoley. The Children are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-sex Relationsihps. Indianapolis: Jesus Metropolitan Community Church, 2002.

This book is divided into several sections. The first part of the book examines the seven "clobber" passages that are typically quoted as proof that the Bible condemns homosexuality. The next part of the book examines passages that could be interpreted as including homosexuals, and the third section attempts to answer a question I've had for a long time: of the 613 rules listed in the Old Testament, how do we know which rules we are supposed to follow and which we can ignore?

This book is an invaluable resource for Christians who are members of the GLBT community as well as those who want to understand how a person can reconcile Christianity and homosexuality. I checked this book out of a library, but I will be purchasing a copy to place on my shelves.

The God Box

2011-10-27T00:00:00.000-04:00

Sanchez, Alex. The God Box. New York: Simon Pulse, 2007.

Paul attends a very conservative public school in an equally conservative small town. His friends are all Christians, many of them attending the same church as Paul and participating in after school Bible studies. Then Manuel moves to town. Manuel is the first openly gay teen in Paul's school, and Manual also is a Christian. Paul and his friends have to wrestle with what they have been taught is truth and what Manuel is saying is truth. Manuel's very presence rips the Christian group in two, with those who accept Manuel on one side and those who condemn him on the other. Paul feels the effects of this debate very personally, as he is wrestling with his own demons of homosexuality. His friendship with Manuel causes him to evaluate what he thinks and believes as well. When Manuel is savagely beaten for his orientation, Paul must take a side once and for all and stand for what he believes in.

This book interested me for obvious reasons. I can completely relate to Paul's struggle with his orientation as well as his concern for what the Bible says about homosexuality. I have listened to and argued on both sides of the homosexuality debate and know how personal and heated these discussions can get. Parts of this book, I will admit, read a lot like many of the websites about what the Bible says about homosexuality. It almost seemed as if the author was attempting to turn one of those websites into novel form, perhaps in the hopes that more people would read the novel. In any case, I was glad for Paul's decisions toward the end of the novel, and I appreciated that the author made this struggle seem real and the characters real as well. This story does not make for easy reading, but it is definitely worth it.

Featured Website: Canyon Walker Connections

2011-10-25T00:00:00.000-04:00

Kathy Baldock is an evangelical Christian whose views and life story resonate well within the Christian community. For many years she believed, like many others, that homosexuality was a choice and a sin. Then a hiking buddy changed her views. Kathy met a friend on one of her hiking trails and over the course of several months spent lots of miles hiking and getting to know her. This friend was the first member of the LGBT community Kathy had really interacted with. And this interaction changed her views.

In the past ten years, Kathy has transformed her views from being against homosexuality to embracing and advocating for the LGBT community. She has created Str8apology, an excellent way for church members to get involved with LGBT events while offering to show members of the LGBT community that God does indeed love them. She often attends pride events across the country and is able to offer an apology to those who have been hurt by the church.

Kathy's website is a memoir of sorts, sharing her personal experiences as she has interacted with the LGBT community. I am proud of her for choosing to get to know people who probably seemed to be very different from her, and for choosing to love them the way God does. Kathy is making a difference in her community; check out her website and see what you can do in your own.

Dark Mirror

2011-10-23T00:00:00.000-04:00

Putney, M. J. Dark Mirror. New York: St. Martin's Griffin. 2011.

Tory is growing up in a world where magic is reviled by the aristocracy just as it is revered by the lower classes. Highborn children who show magical ability are sent away to school to "cure" them of this problem. When Tory chooses to use her abilities to save the life of her nephew, her family has no choice but to send her away for treatment. At school, Tory discovers an underground network of people who still believe that magic is good and who want to use their abilities to help others. Tory must decide what is most important to her.

I enjoyed this story. It has some fun twists and turns that kept me reading. The romantic subplot could have been left undone, but other than that, this was an interesting and well-written story with a new twist on the idea of being born with magical abilities.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

2011-10-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Chbosky, Stephen. The Perks of Being a Wallflower. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1999.

Charlie is a wallflower. As such, he notices things that others don't. He overhears things others miss. He sees with different eyes. This book is a series of letters Charlie writes to a friend explaining things he's seen or experienced. This perspective makes the book seem much more personal than a simple first-person perspective would be. We follow Charlie through his year at school and the ups and downs of his relationships with those around him. We get to watch Charlie grow up as he discovers who he is and what is really important to him.

This book was interesting, although it was much different from other books I've read. This book doesn't have a definite, obvious plot to follow, there's no conflict aside from the ins and outs of normal life, so the action isn't as gripping as it could be in another book. But I still looked forward to reading each of Charlie's letters and seeing what he had learned and discovered in his adventures.

Featured Website: John Shore

2011-10-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

I probably found John Shore's website the same way I run into a lot of other neat web resources: I clicked on a link, which led me to another clickable link, which led me to ... another link. Eventually I ended up on John Shore's site. And it is an interesting one.

John has the amazing ability to take very controversial issues, at least issues that are controversial in Christendom, and to say things about them that very few other people have been brave enough to say. John talks about the LGBT community. And about Muslims. And whether Mormons are in a cult. And bullying. And Bob Marley. And abusive homes. All of these are just off the front page of his site today. It's pretty much a guarantee that John will have something interesting and unusual on his site, and probably a lot of people will disagree with him.

I don't even agree with absolutely everything John posts, but I love to see what he's thinking and to read the comments of others who want to talk about what he's thinking. That's what's neat about his website: John is willing to discuss the issues, rather than ignore them or simply repeat what he's always heard from the pulpit. And because of this, there are even many non-Christians who regularly read and comment on John's blog, knowing that he won't flat-out reject what they've said based on their faith or lack thereof.

It's an interesting site, and definitely worth your perusal.

I'm Okay - You're Not

2011-10-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

Shore, John. I'm Okay - You're Not: The Message We're Sending Nonbelievers and Why We Should Stop. Colorado Springs, CO: Nav Press, 2007.

John Shore's message is a fairly simple one: we've been focusing on the wrong thing. For far too long, Christians have focused most of their time and energy on the Great Commission - telling others about Christ in the hopes that they will accept His gift of salvation, and not enough time on the Great Commandment - Christ's command to us that we love God and love our neighbors. Shore's logic works like this: most people, especially people in the United States, have already heard about Jesus. The average person on the street has been exposed to the message of the gospel at some point in his/her life, and has chosen to reject it. Think of it this way: if a follower of Islam or a Jewish person or a Mormon came up to you and told you that everything you ever thought and believed was wrong and that you needed to think like they do in order to attain heaven, what would you think?

Because most people have already heard and chosen to reject this message, Christians need to take their focus off of spreading the gospel and put it on showing Christ's love to their neighbors. Nonchristians know what we believe, have rejected it, and are frustrated by our continual focus on changing their minds about something that, as rational, intelligent adults, they have already decided. So rather than pushing them away with our preaching and continual plea for a decision, we should focus on loving them as fellow human beings, loving them without an agenda.

Shore is not saying that we should stop witnessing; far from it. There are some people who haven't heard the gospel, or some who have heard and are now questioning their own faith. Churches and Billy Graham crusades and other places of worship where people can choose to attend and learn should still be places where God's Word is preached. But on the street, on a day to day basis, we should be focusing on loving our neighbors, because that's what Jesus said we should do. Our love for our neighbors will open the door to the message Jesus has for them, much more than our words have done.

Featured Website: GCN

2011-10-15T00:00:00.000-04:00

When I was first considering the possibility that I could be both gay and Christian at the same time, that maybe I didn't have a disease that needed to be cured or a sin problem that needed to be repented of, I was certain of two things: 1. I didn't have all the answers to my questions. 2. There had to be other people who had also asked those questions.

I needed a resource with information from all sides of this issue as well as contact with some real people who were also struggling through the same ideas and questions and could help me have some perspective. I found all of those things on the Gay Christian Network.

GCN's website contains helpful resources for LGBT Christians as well as their friends and family. There are articles about the "clobber" passages, essays from both Side A and Side B points of view, videos answering some of the basic questions, like "Is homosexuality a choice?" There's also a forum, which I have found to be particularly helpful. The forum is a safe place to ask questions and to get answers from other people who have wrestled with the same questions as well as a place for support when things are tough or rejoicing when things are going well.

Like many other people in my generation, I have found online communities to be just as genuine and helpful as communities "in real life." GCN has been very helpful to me as I have processed this issue of coming out and as I've moved to a new city and had to develop a new circle of friends.

If you or someone you know is a member of the GLBT community and wants to fellowship with other Christians, or if you are new to considering GLBT issues from a Christian perspective and have some questions, check out GCN's website.

Shift

2011-10-13T03:00:00.000-04:00

Agell, Charlotte. Shift. New York: Henry Holt, 2008.

Adrian lives in a world where church and state are not separated. The United Christian States arose after an apocolyptic event as the world attempted to restore order to the chaos. Religion is now mandated through the state, with televised chapel services and vacation Bible school required for graduation. Rumors have spread of a great shift when Jesus is supposed to return and all unbelievers will be condemned. Adrian isn't sure what he believes anymore, but he is sure he isn't being told the whole truth.

Okay, so this plot line was really, really obvious, and actually rather offensive. This novel took the idea of religious control to an extreme I have not seen before. While I understand the underlying theme that it is best to be accepting of all people, regardless of their faith, and that state mandated religion can easily become corrupt, I didn't like the additional unspoken message that Christianity itself is corrupt and ridiculous. I read this story closely and carefully for the first several chapters, hoping that this Giver-esque world would also yield a Giver-esque ending, but I will admit I skimmed the last portion of the book when things became predictible and, well, boring. Don't bother with this one, folks.

National Coming Out Day

2011-10-11T03:00:00.000-04:00

October 11th has been designated by the Human Rights Campaign as National Coming Out Day. It is a day to spread awareness and for straight allies to support their LGBT friends.

Those of you who have followed my blog for a while may have noticed an interesting trend. Although I have written extensively about many other issues related to the church and to my exit from the fundamentalist movement, I have been rather silent on the issues regarding homosexuality and the church. Also, until recently my book reviews covered quite a range of books, but never books that discussed homosexuality or featured protagonists who were members of the LGBT community. Then, in what may have seemed to be a sudden change, I started posting reviews of both fiction and non-fiction books about the LGBT community in general and its relationship with the church specifically. Possibly some of you are wondering, "Why the change?"

I am going to quote something A'isha Marbach, who has guest posted on John Shore's blog, wrote. I don't share all of her life experiences or understand everything she's going through, but we have more in common than might be expected:

“God, please make me pure. Take these feelings from me and make it so I can like boys instead of girls. Amen.” This is the prayer I prayed so many times I lost count. Throughout high school my one goal was to live a life pleasing to God. I’m not sure exactly where I got the message that it wasn’t okay to be a lesbian, that God didn’t approve, but that is the message I got loud and clear. So I pushed all those crushes, all those tingly feelings I got when I saw a pretty woman, deep inside me, and pretended to like boys. I needed to be accepted by people around me, and I wanted God to approve of my life.

Like A'isha, I realized early on that I was a lesbian. Like A'isha, I also realized that the Christianity I saw practiced around me didn't allow for members of the LGBT community to also be Christians. If you watch the video the Gay Christian Network has produced, you will hear the same story echoed over and over again: many gay Christians, when faced with a choice between their faith and their orientation, have chosen to squash their orientation in order to please God.

The decision to be "out and proud" as a gay person is especially complicated when the only thing one ever hears in church is how awful it is to be gay, how much God hates homosexuality, and stories of gay people who have gone through ex-gay ministries and experienced some sort of recovery. So gay Christians traditionally have ended up with two choices: keep their faith and attempt "recovery" from their orientation, or embrace their orientation and deny their faith. Until recently I didn't know there was a third option.

After much thought, study, prayer, contemplation, reading, crying, and consideration, I have come to the conclusion that my faith and my orientation don't cancel each other out. I am proud to say that I am a gay Christian.

The Christian community has for so long excluded gays and lesbians that it is very difficult for any LGBT person to come to the realization that God loves them and wants a relationship with them. Even if not every Christian spouts, “God hates fags,” like Fred Phelps does, that is indeed the message we get, as long as every Christian doesn’t stand up and say, “No, that’s not true. God loves you.”

Because of this history between LGBT people and many Christians, it’s very difficult to meet gays and lesbians who are also Christians. Honestly, why should any of us choose to be part of a group that condemns us? Fortunately there are many like me that are coming to realize that it’s God’s followers who mistakenly condemn us, and not God himself. (Emphasis mine; the rest of A'isha's post can be read here.)

My faith is very important to me. My orientation is, too, and it wasn't until recently that I was able to allow the two to coexist peacefully. I was reading in Matthew 8 where Jesus heals a man who has leprosy. The first three verses say, "When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, 'Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. 'Be clean!"' I cannot even begin to count the number of times I said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me straight." Always before God was silent on the issue. For the first time I ever, I finally heard Him speak. He said, "My precious child, you are not sick. I don't fix what isn't broken. I love you just as you are."

If you have questions about the idea of being gay and Christian, I strongly recommend you visit the Gay Christian Network's website or watch their videos on YouTube. Of course, you are also more than welcome to email me with any questions you may have. And I'd also recommend visiting John Shore's website and the Canyon Walker Connections site, as both have more information than I can possibly fit in one blog post. I will certainly be writing follow-up posts in the weeks ahead; check back periodically for updates or become one of my faithful blog followers.

Anne Frank and Me

2011-10-09T03:00:00.000-04:00

Bennett, Cherie and Jeff Gottesfeld. Anne Frank and Me. New York: Putnam, 2001.

If you have read The Devil's Arithmetic, then you have the general idea of the plot of this novel. The main character, Nicole, is learning about the Holocaust and is less than enthusiastic about this study. An unusual accident at a museum causes Nicole to believe she has been transported back to France during the second world war and is now part of a fairly rich Jewish family. Nicole's family faces the difficulties of being Jewish in German-occupied France, and eventually Nicole is taken to a concentration camp. She chooses to go to the gas chamber with her sister rather than abandon her to die alone, and as she "dies" in the past, Nicole wakes up in the present with an increased appreciation for what others have endured.

I appreciated this novel and I did enjoy the story, but this novel is not unique. Perhaps, though, it was time for a reinterpretation of an old story.

Hanging on to Max

2011-10-07T03:00:00.000-04:00

Bechard, Margaret. Hanging on to Max. Brookfield, Connecticut: Roaring Brook Press, 2002.

Sam is a high school junior. During the day he goes to school, and at night he picks his son up from day care and takes him home to care for him. Caring for a toddler while also juggling academics and decisions about his future has become difficult, but Sam is sure that keeping Max was the right thing to do. Or was it?

This book was interesting; never before have I heard of a book about a teen single father. Sam faced many struggles and found it difficult to relate to his peers and struggled with ideas of college and the realities of caring for his son. The ending of this book was both happy and sad. I will admit: this book made me cry.

Freak Magnet

2011-10-05T03:00:00.000-04:00

Auseon, Andrew. Freak Magnet. New York: Harper Teen, 2010.

Charlie charts the movements of the stars in a small black journal while he takes care of his mother who is slowly dying of Huntington's disease. To the rest of the world, Charlie is a freak; he speaks his mind and doesn't understand social conventions. Charlie is a freak, and Gloria is a freak magnet. Gloria keeps a notebook of all the freaks who follow her; her notebook is her one grip on sanity in an increasingly crazy world. Her brother has been dead for a year and no one else seems to be mourning his death. Freak and freak magnet collide in this fascinating and entertaining novel.

This book is told from both Charlie's and Gloria's perspectives, so it was neat for me to see the story from two different angles. I did enjoy this story, and it had a satisfying ending; however, it isn't going to end up on my top ten list this year.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

2011-10-03T03:00:00.000-04:00

Alexie, Sherman. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. New York: Little, Brown, and Company, 2007.
Junior is trying to navigate the world of the Indian reservation through a host of medical issues and a severe lack of resources. He is extremely intelligent but still constantly picked on by people twice his size and twice his age. One of his teachers challenges him to go to school off the reservation. Junior then must balance between his life on the reservation, where he is looked down on for deserting his people, and his life at school, where he is being challenged in his classes and accepted by his classmates. Trying to keep the best of both worlds and bridge a gap of misunderstanding is a task much larger than most high school freshman would face, but Junior is up to the challenge.

I loved this book. I loved Junior's sense of humor and his cartoons and illustrations throughout this book. The first-person perspective allowed me to gain greater understanding of life on a reservation and the difficulty Junior must have faced when he began attending the all-white school. If I still had a classroom, this book would be on my shelf.

Separation of Church ... and Church?

2011-10-01T03:00:00.000-04:00

I still remember my freshman year of college when I decided to find a local church to attend. I hadn't given much thought to different churches or different denominations or anything like that before, but I found myself a bit overwhelmed looking at the options for churches near my university. I ended up attending a church very similar to the one I had attended at home, mainly because it felt safe and comfortable. The congregation was fairly small and heavily populated by people enjoying their retirement, but I could sense that they loved God and wanted to serve Him.

Six years later, I relocated to the island of Guam. Here my church search was simplified: as a teacher at a private Christian school, I was required to attend the church attached to the school where I taught. This church was fairly similar in style to my previous church, although the congregation was larger and there was a wider range of ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities. This church attempted to portray a more relaxed, laid-back atmosphere than what I experienced in college, but was still basically the same church. And again I could sense that these people loved God and wanted to serve Him.

Then I moved to San Francisco. The culture shock of moving back to the United States and into a major city on the west coast was crazy enough, but things were multiplied when I began to search for a church. There were so many options open to me, and I wasn't sure where to begin. I took a recommendation from an acquaintance and visited a non-denominational church. This congregation was much, much larger than my previous two churches; there were four services each weekend just to accommodate everyone! And the worship was more contemporary, the dress more relaxed and casual, and there was much more emphasis on outreach. The sermons at this church forced me to see the Bible through fresh eyes, and I was learning a lot and eagerly awaited each weekend when I could return to church. Truly these people loved God and wanted to serve Him.

Because of my apparent inability to remain in one zip code for very long, I moved again a bit over a month ago and once again found myself facing a church search. After a year of recovery in San Francisco, I knew a bit more about what I was looking for. I had some thoughts about what I definitely did and definitely did not want in a church I'd attend. Some beliefs that used to be very important to me really weren't so much anymore, and although I had a style of worship I was comfortable with, I was also open to exploring other options. The church I am now attending is not in a denomination I'm very familiar with, and the worship style is yet again different from the places I've been previously. But this church is open and affirming, they have a strong emphasis on outreach, and again I have noted that these people love God and want to serve Him.

It's amazing to me that in the past several years I have regularly attended three different churches - each with a different denominational label, a different style of worship, a different doctrinal emphasis, different customs and traditions, and yet in each place I have found people who love God and want to serve Him. Some of these denominations placed a special emphasis on separation, dividing that church from other congregations with slightly different belief systems or emphases. I think this division is to our detriment. If we continually emphasize that we are right and that others are wrong, that somehow we are special or better or holier, soon we will begin to believe that. And if there's anything I've learned in the past few years, it's that I don't know everything. I don't have the corner on the market of the truth, and limiting my contact with others just because they are different closes my mind to different ideas and beliefs, different ways of relating and worshiping. God loves variety, and I believe He also loves the variety of ways in which people to choose to worship and serve Him.

The Knight

2011-09-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

James, Steven. The Knight. Grand Rapids, MI: Revel, 2009.

Agent Bowers is hunting a killer who is re-enacting a story through the deaths of his victims. As he draws closer to a solution, Bowers realizes that the final chapter in the killer's story involves the death of Agent Bowers himself. With a deadline looming, how will Bowers catch the killer and save both himself and the killer's other potential victims?

I had a guess that this novel was published under a Christian label, although this book doesn't fit the stereotype of Christian fiction from earlier decades. This falls more into the category of "well-written fiction that is relatively clean and happens to be written by someone who is a Christian." A bit of googling about the publisher confirmed my suspicions: Revel is a part of Baker Publishing. Because of that, I was a bit surprised to find this book in the meager browsing collection at my university's library. However, this book was excellently written and I truly enjoyed the experience of reading this novel. For the first time in a long time, I woke up early enough in the morning so that I could finish reading the book before I began working on homework or other duties. And I was not disappointed. If you haven't read this one yet, folks, you need to check it out. Or buy a copy and pass it around to your friends. You'll thank me later.

Kissing Kate

2011-09-27T03:00:00.000-04:00

Myracle, Lauren. Kissing Kate. New York: Penguin Group, 2003.

Kate and Lissa shared a kiss at a party over the summer. Kate was drunk at the time, and now she is humiliated and won't speak with Lissa. Lissa doesn't understand why Kate won't speak with her anymore or why she is so insistent that the kiss was a complete accident. As Lissa struggles to come to terms with herself and her sexuality, she also is struggling with her friendships, both with Kate and with her new friend Ariel.

This book was a very quick read, and like many of the books published by Penguin's imprint Speak, dealt with a major teen issue: sexuality. I didn't find this book to be as definitive or essential as the other works of fiction I have read. It was worth the read, but probably would be better checked out of a library than purchased at a bookstore.

Wintergirls

2011-09-25T03:00:00.000-04:00

Anderson, Laurie Halse. Wintergirls. New York: Penguin Group, 2009.

Lia and Cassie are competing to see who will be the thinnest girl. Cassie learned to binge and purge at a summer camp, and Lia began counting calories after her ballet teacher suggested she stop eating so much ice cream. At the beginning of this novel, Cassie loses her life, and Lia struggles with grief over the loss of her friend, guilt over what she could have done differently, and visions of Cassie's ghost who keeps encouraging Lia to end it all. Lia doesn't want to go back into residential treatment, but her parents don't know how to help her anymore. Lia needs to choose whether to be brave and open herself to getting help or to continue to listen to Cassie's ghost.

I absolutely love Anderson's book Speak, so I was happy to see another of her novels. I'm not super-familiar with the trauma and struggles of those with eating disorders, so it was a bit odd for me to be trapped inside Lia's head, so to speak, as I read through this book. I was glad for the decisions she made toward the end of the novel, and I think Anderson has once again captured the mind of a teen girl who is dealing with problems larger than she can handle on her own.

Feed

2011-09-23T03:00:00.000-04:00

Anderson, M. T. Feed. Somerville, MA: Candlewick Press, 2002.

In a futuristic world, all people are equipped with "feeds" that download information directly into their brains. Titus, the protagonist, meets a girl who is trying to fight against her feed, and this girl changes his life.

At least, this is what the book should be about. I don't know because I couldn't get past the weird vocabulary. I've read dozens of fantasy novels, each with its own special vocabulary, but in each of those cases the special vocabulary was introduced gradually with plenty of in-text synonyms and support. This novel contains neither of those things, and the new vocabulary was frustrating and irritating. I tried, really I did, but I couldn't finish this book.

The Meaning of Matthew

2011-09-21T03:00:00.000-04:00

Shepard, Judy. The Meaning of Matthew. New York: Penguin Group, 2009.

In 1998 Matthew Shepard was taken out of the Wyoming town where he lived, tied to a fence post, savagely beaten, and left for dead, all because he was gay. He struggled for life in a hospital bed, but succombed to his injuries and died a few days later. This incident became the defining incident regarding violence against members of the GLBT community.

In this book, Matthew's mother Judy describes Matthew's childhood as well as his coming out to his family as gay. She details the court procedings after Matthew's death and her work with the Matthew Shepard foundation. This is not an easy book to read, but it was definitely worth the time I spent on it.

Conquistador

2011-09-19T03:00:00.000-04:00

Stirling, S.M. Conquistador. New York: Putnam, 2003.

What if Columbus had never reached North America? What if white man never touched these shores? How would our continent be different? Stirling explores this concept in his novel as one man in California discovers a portal in his basement. This portal opens to a North America that has never been touched by settlers. This portal is soon used to the best advantage: those who enter the portal live lives of oppulence beyond the gate, only returning to "the real world" to do business or gather supplies. They carefully guard the secret of the gate, knowing the consequences of discovery would be significant.

This book is a fascinating page-turner. I truly enjoyed the entire story and found the ending to be both surprising and satisfying.

The Strange Case of Origami Yoda

2011-09-17T03:00:00.000-04:00

Angleberger, Tom. The Strange Case of Origami Yoda. New York: Amulet Books, 2010.

Dwight is one of the weird kids in his class. A lot of his quirks have convinced his classmates that he must be from another planet. However, one day Dwight brings an origami Yoda to school, and Yoda starts giving advice to his classmates, advice that Dwight himself could not have come up with. So where does Yoda get his great ideas, and why won't Dwight follow the advice of his paper puppet friend?

I absolutely loved this book. I generally enjoy books with middle schoolers as main characters, but this one tops many of the others I've read before. This one was laugh-out-loud funny. If I still had a classroom, I'd read this book aloud to my students.

Okay for Now

2011-09-15T03:00:00.000-04:00

Schmidt, Gary. Okay for Now. New York: Clarion Books, 2011.

Doug Swieteck was featured in Schmidt's previous book The Wednesday Wars, a book which I read to my seventh graders every year while I was teaching. I was excited to see another book by this author and another book about these characters. Doug and his family have moved from New York to the middle of nowhere, and Doug is having difficulty adjusting to life in a small town. Slowly, though, he begins to make friends and to make right choices, even if they aren't always easy ones. And of course this book also happens to feature a librarian who makes a difference, which is always a good theme for a future librarian. If you haven't read Wednesday Wars, read that first, then pick up this one. You'll thank me later.

Love Wins

2011-09-13T03:00:00.000-04:00

Bell, Rob. Love Wins. New York: Harper One, 2011.

This book title has been floating around in forums and on blogs for a while, but it wasn't until just recently that I was able to pick up a copy and read it. The author's idea is a simple one: evangelical Christians are taught that God is offering us eternal life, provided that we accept that gift in the way He offers it. If not, if we do not pray the right prayer or don't pray it at the right time or don't say the right words, then we are condemned to hell. This means that lots of people throughout history are going to hell, while very few people will go to heaven. Many both within and outside the Christian community have difficulty swallowing this truth. How could a good, loving God condemn people to hell? Bell posits the possibility that perhaps God will allow all those other people, those who weren't ready for salvation on Earth, a second chance at salvation.

I'm not going to jump on the "Love Wins" bandwagon and say that I agree wholeheartedly with Bell's theories. But his book was definitely an interesting read and caused me to view the concept of salvation from another point of view.

A Stolen Life

2011-09-11T03:00:00.000-04:00

Dugard, Jaycee. A Stolen Life. New York: Simon and Schuster, 2011.

When Jaycee Dugard was eleven years old, she was kidnapped on the way to school. The man who kidnapped her kept her at his house and sexually abused her for eighteen years. She gave birth to her first child at fourteen. When she was nearly thirty years old, she was discovered and reunited with her family again. This book details her captivity.

This was not an easy book to read, but I am glad that Jaycee is strong enough and brave enough to tell her story, and I wish her all the best as she and her daughters recover.

Is It A Choice?

2011-09-09T03:00:00.000-04:00

Marcus, Eric. Is It A Choice? New York: Harper Collins, 2005.

This book reads like the FAQ page of a website, listing questions in bold with their answers underneath. I skimmed this book rather than read it, because I either already knew the answers to some of the questions or simply wasn't interested in the answers. This book is an excellent resource for a person who knows someone struggling with homosexuality.

Bulletproof Faith

2011-09-07T03:00:00.000-04:00

Chellew-Hodge, Candace. Bulletproof Faith. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008.

This book is intended for gay Christians who are attempting to defend both their faith and their orientation, or rather their right to their faith regardless of their orientation. I found the information in this book, however, to be useful for all Christians when defending their faith. The suggestions in this book will help Christians to open up thoughtful, friendly dialogue with those around them without compromising what they believe. It is completely possible to agree to disagree with someone and to continue to have an honest and interesting conversation without arguing or becoming angry. After spending many years in an environment where the "I'm right, you're wrong, and I must change your mind so you agree with me" mindset is rampant, I found this book to be refreshing and eye-opening. Thoughtful dialogue will bring more people to an expanded outlook than disgruntled debate ever will.

Hello, Groin

2011-09-05T03:00:00.000-04:00

Goobie, Beth. Hello, Groin. Custer, WA: Orca Book Publishers, 2006.

Dylan has been coasting along in school just fine. She is not a popular girl, but she is not ridiculed either, and she has discovered how to ride the waves of high school social drama without standing out either way. That is, until she helps create a bulletin board for the school library. Her display is censored by the principal and soon Dylan is the talk of the school. What did the principal ask her to remove, and why is Dylan being so secretive about it? Dylan wrestles with the social demons as she seeks to discover why she made the board that way in the first place and what message she wanted to convey.

This was an interesting book. I always enjoy stories that mention other stories, as that seems to be an easy way for me to add to my "must-read" list. Dylan's moodiness got on my nerves at times, I will admit, but it got on other character's nerves, too, so perhaps I was supposed to be annoyed. I was quite impressed with Dylan's parents and their ability to walk the fine line between encouraging proper behavior in their daughter and also accepting her for who she is and who she is choosing to become. When necessary, Dylan's parents allowed her to face the consequences of her actions, but they also stood up for her when they thought she had done the right thing.

The Crabapple Tree

2011-09-03T03:00:00.000-04:00

D'Arcangelo, Lyndsey. The Crabapple Tree. Alpha World Press, 2009.

Busy Wheeler is leaving for the summer. Her best and only friend Billy will be left behind as Busy spends the summer with her aunt as her parents hope that her attitude will improve. The summer is a hectic one for Busy as she works at her aunt's bed and breakfast and discovers some things about her family and about herself.

This story was cute and interesting and entertaining as well. I enjoyed meeting Busy: I was impressed with her defense of Billy and I applauded her courage in facing some new information about her birth mother. The plot twist (which I will not reveal here, lest I spoil the book for you) was not what I expected, but still made for interesting reading.

Letters from the Closet

2011-09-01T03:00:00.000-04:00

Ferrante, Tony and Paulette Jacobson. Letters from the Closet. Sacramento: Tzedakah Publications, 1994.

With pull-out post cards and colorful illustrations, Letters from the Closet looks a lot like a children's book, but it's more like a children's book for grown-ups. This book is a fictional compilation of letters and postcards between two friends as their lives drift apart and then back together again. I thought this book was beautiful, and I will probably be adding a copy to my own bookshelf at some point.

Gifted by Otherness

2011-08-30T03:00:00.000-04:00

Countryman, L. William and Ritley, M.R. Gifted by Otherness. Harrisburg, PA: Morehouse Publishing, 2001.

This book is a collection of essays and short articles by Countryman and Ritley. I was glad to find a book encouraging gay and lesbian people to be involved in church, but I found some of the articles to be difficult to follow. Nonetheless, I think this is a good book to use as a resource, although not necessarily a book to read straight through.

My Most Excellent Year

2011-08-28T03:00:00.000-04:00

Kluger, Steve. My Most Excellent Year. New York: Penguin Group, 2008.

I was intrigued when I started reading this book, intrigued, because one of the main characters was described by his friends and family as "gay, but he doesn't know it yet." I found it interesting that a character could be out to everyone but himself, and I wanted to see how this story would progress. Unfortunately, there is little narrative in this book; the story is mostly told in emails, texts, and instant messages, so it is very difficult to follow. I tried, I really did, but I couldn't finish it.

What God Has Joined Together?

2011-08-26T03:00:00.000-04:00

Myers, David and Scanzoni, Letha. What God Has Joined Together? New York: Harper Collins, 2005.

Myers and Scanzoni have written a book about gay marriage, but their target audience is heterosexuals, specifically evangelical Christians who are as yet unconvinced of the benefits of gay marriage. I found this book to be very easy to read, and I think it would be a good resource both for those who are trying to talk to their Christian friends and family and for those Christians who are interested in what "the other side says." This one, my friends, is a must-read.

Say the Word

2011-08-24T03:00:00.000-04:00

Garsee, Jeannine. Say the Word. New York: Bloomsbury, 2009.

Shawna has tried to be the perfect daughter. She works hard at school, helps out at home, and follows all the rules. Everything is fine until Shawna's mom's wife calls to tell Shawna that her mom has had a stroke and may be dying. Shawna's life rapidly spirals out of control in the midst of a tense funeral, the unchanged will, and her father's insistence that her mother's lifestyle was very, very wrong. In the end, Shawna must decide between what is right and what is easy.

This was an interesting read. I was intrigued to see a story told from the perspective of a child with a gay parent, and I was glad for Shawna's actions toward the end of the story. This story didn't necessarily have a happy ending, but it did have a satisfying one, and the reader gets to watch Shawna wrestle with some tough decisions.

My Tiki Girl

2011-08-22T03:00:00.000-04:00

McMahon, Jennifer. My Tiki Girl. New York: Penguin Group, 2008.

Two years ago Maggie's life was irrevocably changed. A car accident shattered Maggie's leg and took the life of her mother. Maggie spent most of the year in the hospital and then recovering at home. Once a straight-A student and heavily involved in drama, Maggie's not sure who she is anymore. Her friends and classmates don't know who she is, either, and Maggie is feeling very alone.

Enter Dahlia. Dahlia lives with her mentally ill mother in the not-so-nice part of town. Maggie soon finds herself spending most of her time at Dahlia's house. But soon Maggie's relationship with Dahlia turns romantic, and Dahlia's mother, whom Maggie thought to be a cool person, kicks Maggie out of the house while screaming "abomination!" at her over and over again. Soon the too-big secret is out and Maggie and Dahlia are facing teasing at school and stony silences at home. Maggie must sort through her feelings and discover what is truly important to her.

Again, it intrigued me that the only characters who were against homosexuality in this story were Maggie's mostly-absent father (still grieving the loss of his wife), Dahlia's mentally ill mother (taken away to a state home as soon as she's discovered to be off her medication), and Maggie's less-than-mature classmates. None of the good characters take any issue with Maggie and Dahlia's relationship. This was an interesting book, in that it addressed abusive homes, death of parents, terrible accidents, teasing and bullying, and relationships all in one fell swoop.

The House You Pass on the Way

2011-08-20T03:00:00.000-04:00

Woodson, Jacqueline. The House You Pass on the Way. New York: Delacourte Press, 1997.

Staggerlee doesn't have much going for her. She has a completely unusual name, first of all. Second, she is a child of mixed race in a time and place where this is not acceptable. Third, she has a crush on her best friend, who also happens to be female. When her friend moves away, Staggerlee isn't sure what to do with herself, until her cousin Trout moves in. Staggerlee and Trout become fast friends and soon confess to each other that they both like girls, but both have realized that they cannot talk about this issue with their families, ever. Trout was sent to Staggerlee's house to solve her "little problem," but it isn't until she returns home that Trout develops a crush on a male classmate. Staggerlee is still trying to find her way in a world that is very unfriendly to her.

This book was kind of slow and rather difficult to follow. There isn't much action and not much conflict, and Staggerlee's problem isn't resolved in the end. I found this book to be rather unsatisfying.

Empress of the World

2011-08-18T03:00:00.000-04:00

Ryan, Sara. Empress of the World. New York: Penguin Group, 2001.

Nic is spending the summer at a camp for gifted students, and while she explores her passion of archeology, she also has the opportunity to meet some new friends. One friendship soon turns into a romantic relationship, which leaves Nic examining herself and wondering at her changing identity.

I haven't read much YA lit with a homosexual theme, so I was intrigued to see how authors in general would choose to portray this issue. I find it interesting that Nic's friends were all okay with her relationship with Battle, while the two characters who objected were already portrayed in a negative light. The two boys who picked on Nic and Battle were already seen as ignorant and arrogant before they displayed their obvious homophobia. Other than this, I definitely could see Nic's mental/emotional skirmishes as she tried to wrap her brain around her relationship with Battle.

Hearts and Minds

2011-08-16T03:00:00.000-04:00

Main, Darren. Hearts and Minds: Talking to Christians about Homosexuality. Scotland: Findhorn Press, 2008.

If you are a Christian and want to see how others understand your viewpoint, or if you are gay and want to know how to talk about homosexuality with the Christians in your life, this book would be an excellent resource. A lot of the information in this book was not new to me, as the author truly chooses to "put the cookies on the bottom shelf," as it were. He explains the evangelical Christian's stand on homosexuality and offers suggestions for open, calm, honest discussions between those who disagree on this particular issue. James Waygood calls this book "a brilliantly executed and sound approach to what can be a dangerously impassioned topic" (his review can be accessed here).

A New Diet Plan

2011-08-14T03:00:00.001-04:00

I have discovered an amazing new diet plan that allows you to eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and you don't even have to exercise! As long as you can stomach carbonated citrus-based beverages, you are guaranteed success.

The other day I was thirsty, and I stopped at the store and bought a bottle of Orangina.

I like Orangina because it's carbonated, like soda, but it doesn't taste like orange soda; it tastes like orange juice. And 12% of what's in the bottle actually IS juice, which makes it good for me, right? Little did I know that it was better for me than I had imagined. As is my habit, I flipped the bottle around and read the back of it:

According to the details on this bottle, if I drink 8 oz. of Orangina, I consume 110 calories. But if I drink the full 16 oz bottle, I consume only 210 calories. I can save myself ten calories just by drinking an entire bottle! Amazing!

An Interview with the Author

2011-08-12T03:00:00.001-04:00

So, Jenni, what was it like living in San Francisco for a year?
I absolutely loved it. San Francisco is a great city. There are tons of things to do, the library is huge, there are beautiful parks and beaches and lots of coffee shops and the bus can take you anywhere you want to go. The people are friendly and relaxed and it's never, ever boring.

What would you say was the highlight of your San Francisco experience?
Wow, I have to pick just one thing? I think the most exciting part of being in San Francisco was the people. I got to work with some very nice people at all three of my jobs. I also met some great people at church and was able to worship and serve together with them. At my bus stop I never failed to run into a few interesting street people. If I had had my own apartment and could balance my "with interesting people" and "alone, away from interesting people" time, I might have been convinced to stay.

Why are you leaving San Francisco now, anyway?
Well, first, it's very expensive to live here. I don't have my own place, and if I were to stay, I'd need my own place. Second, and kind of tied to the first reason, I don't have a decent job. I mean, I have a good job, but not one that affords me the independence of my own apartment. In order to get a better job, I need a college degree, so I'm going back to school.

Would you ever consider returning to San Francisco?
Absolutely! After I have a decent job and if my loans are paid off so I can afford living here, I'd love to be back in the city. As I said, it's a great place to live: beautiful and interesting and friendly.

Is there anything you wish you'd done while you were here, something you won't have time for before you leave?
Well, I didn't explore nearly as much of the city as I'd have liked to. There's so much to see and do here, I feel like I barely scratched the surface. And a short drive away from the city leads to so many other neat things, too. But the one thing I am sorry I never did is I never walked all the way across the Golden Gate Bridge. I made it to the first tower, but my sprained ankle wouldn't allow me to go any further.

That's unfortunate. Hopefully the bridge will still be here if you come back to visit. You've done quite a bit of reading and studying while you were here, even though you weren't in school. What lessons have you learned during your time in San Francisco?
I have learned a lot from being here and being around so many different kinds of people. The two big things I have learned are that, first, everyone has a story. Every single person has lived a life that I have not lived, and they have experiences that I don't know about. I try to keep that in mind when I have a grouchy boss or a customer who is acting entitled and getting on my nerves. I don't know what kind of day they've had and I don't know what they're going through. Sometimes I wish I could wear a shirt that says, "I'm having a rotten day. Please be patient." I try to remember to extend that same patience to those around me. Knowing that other people have back stories has also made me a good listener. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to - they don't want answers or great solutions to their problems, they just need validation that someone else cares about what they're going through.

That sounds like a great thing to learn. What was the second thing?
That I don't have the corner on the market of the truth. One of the neat things about being in San Francisco is that I got to play around with different ideas, I got to look at things from other perspectives. And while there are some things that I still believe and think are fundamentally important, other things just aren't that vital anymore. In fact, in some cases I have changed my mind because I saw what "the other side thinks" and I have come to the conclusion that they are right and I was wrong. But that doesn't mean necessarily that now I can say I have the corner on the market of the truth - I might still be wrong. But God's grace is big enough to cover all of our human frailties, and I know that He loves me in spite of my mistakes.

God's grace is truly amazing. For most of your life now you have been involved in an extremely conservative church group. This was the first year you were out on your own, so to speak. How has that been?
It's been wonderful. At first it was really scary and overwhelming. The first week at my church here in San Francisco I was kind of in shock. It was quite different from what I was used to. Joining a small group was great for me; I got to discuss things with other intelligent, educated people who love Jesus and might look at things differently from the way I've been taught. The biggest thing I learned is that it's so much more important to love those around us than to make sure they know what we stand against. So many people only know the church as a place that is against abortion, against gay marriage, against teaching evolution in public schools, against rock music, etc. etc. They hear all these negative messages, and then they ignore the most important message which is, "God loves you! He loves you regardless of your opinion on all those issues. Issues are not the main thing. God's love is the main thing."

So was your sister justified in her concerns that you would become a tattooed, pot-smoking hippie?
In a word, no. No tattoos. No pot. No hippiness. Even if I talk about God's love a lot. I want to round up all those people who have been pushed away from church, apologize to them for their hurts, and bring them back to Jesus. Because He really does love them.

Well, it sounds like you have an exciting future ahead of you. I wish you all the best as you head off to grad school.
Thank you. And if you're ever in my neck of the woods again, feel free to stop by for coffee.

Numbers: The Chaos

2011-08-10T03:00:00.000-04:00

Ward, Rachel. Numbers: The Chaos. New York: Scholastic, 2011.

When Adam looks into your eyes, he sees a number. That number is the day on which you will die. He can also get an impression of how you will die - whether it will be a violent death or death due to disease or accident. Adam is struggling with this "gift," especially once he realizes that almost everyone around him has the same date. What exactly is going to happen on January 1, 2027 that will cause so many deaths? Can Adam do something to save those around him?

This was an unsual book with a few interesting subplots. I continued reading it even though it dragged a bit at times. I don't know that I would necessarily recommend this book. There are other, better books out there. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more if I had read the first book in the series before reading this sequel.

Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie

2011-08-08T03:00:00.000-04:00

Sonnenblick, Jordan. Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. New York: Scholastic, 2006.

I read After Ever After several months ago and enjoyed it immensely. Imagine my delight when I found another book by the same author and with the same characters. In this story, Jeffrey's older brother Steven is in eighth grade. He is enjoying school, getting good grades, learning to play the drums, and everything is fine until his five-year old brother Jeffrey is diangosed with leukemia. Steven's life takes a back seat as his parents focus on Jeffrey's treatment and recovery. Soon Steven is attempting to survive eighth grade on his own, and he is failing miserably. Only once he admits to his teachers and classmates that his brother has cancer does he find the help he needs and find a way to help his brother as well.

This was an excellent story, and I will admit it was easy for me to read because I knew from the sequels that Jeffrey survives his cancer. It was also a good reminder to me that sometimes people will "drop out of life" not because they have given up but because there's so much going on that they don't know what else to do. I was also very impressed with the actions of Steven's classmates and fellow band members in this book. If you have a classroom library, Sonnenblick needs to be on your shelf.

Zen and the Art of Faking It

2011-08-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

Sonnenblick, Jordan. Zen and the Art of Faking It. New York: Scholastic, 2007.

San Lee has moved once again and once again is starting at a new school. There are benefits to this: his new classmates don't know his dad is in prison or that his dad has cheated his way across the continent. However, his classmates also don't know anything about San himself, so San decides to invent a new persona once again. San's new "self" is a Zen Buddhist, and San himself has some serious studying to do if he is going to be a proper Buddhist. But what will his classmates say when they discover that San, adopted from China when he was a small child, is not the next Zen master?

This book was fun. I can relate to San's identity issues, as well as his choice to try on a new persona whenever he arrives in a new location. I am glad that his lies caught up with him in the end and that he chose, finally, to tell the truth, both to those around him and to himself.

Notes from the Midnight Driver

2011-08-04T03:00:00.000-04:00

Sonnenblick, Jordan. Notes from the Midnight Driver. New York: Scholastic, 2006.

Alex is upset over his parents' divorce, so one night he raids the liquor cabinet and steals his mom's car keys in an attempt to drive to his dad's place. His attempt fails miserably, though, when his car bumper meets his neighbor's garden gnome. Alex is assigned community service to pay for his crimes, and his mother chooses for him to volunteer as an assistant in the hospital. Alex is assigned to an older man who is slowly dying of emphysema, and it looks like this will be the longest 100 hours of Alex's life, until he starts looking beyond himself and sees how he can use his time of service to truly serve others.

I chose this book for two reasons: I have enjoyed other books by the same author, and this book has a really funny cover. And I was not disappointed. Sonnenblick has a very engaging writing style and hooks the reader into his stories quite quickly. Not only that, but his characters do good work while enduring incredible hardships. I have been very impressed with Sonnenblick's novels, and if I had a classroom still, his books would be on my shelf.

Miles From Ordinary

2011-08-02T03:00:00.000-04:00

Williams, Carol Lynch. Miles From Ordinary. New York: St. Martin's Griffin, 2011.

Lacey is excited about starting her job at the library, excited because this job gives her a reason to be out of the house in the summer and to take a break from caring for her mother. Lacey's mother is mentally ill: she hears the voice of her dead father speaking to her and telling her to do things like store up enough food to last a lifetime. She refuses to take her medication, and slowly everyone in her life has left her, except Lacey. But when Lacey finishes her first day of work and cannot find her mother, what will she do?

This was an interesting book and a quick read. I felt bad for Lacey having to deal with her mother's craziness and trying to be a normal teenager at the same time. I was glad that she finally got the help her family needed by the end of the book.

Pride Week

2011-07-31T03:00:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I was unable to attend my church's Sunday service because my route to church was blocked by a boisterously well-attended parade. The last week of June every year is dedicated to Gay Pride here in San Francisco, and the culmination of that week is the Pride Parade. I was irritated that my route was blocked, but this is an annual phenomenon that I have become accustomed to. And while I was not able to attend church that morning, there were, at least, a considerable number of visitors to the pier that afternoon.

I find it fascinating that as a society we celebrate differences to such an extreme. We almost encourage people to depart from the norms, but as soon as a person does that, he/she is almost certain to find another person like him/her and form a group so that neither of them is lonely. I could complain about the pride parade, which clogged up this city while a mere 5% of the population celebrated their collective uniqueness, but then again, I work at a store that sells products for left-handed people, a group that comprises only 15%. Apparently it is cool to be different, but it is also lonely. People label themselves by their race, their abilities, their sexual orientation, their sports affiliations, their education level, their hobbies, etc. to set them apart from the masses, but then they find others who fit in the same box so they won't be alone.

One person who came to the left-handed store that Sunday was wearing a shirt that declared in bright, colorful letters, "My sexuality doesn't define me." I thought, "Good for you. I don't think it should. However, that t-shirt is not helping your lack of definition much." I don't know that it will be possible for us to remove all of these defining boxes we've placed around ourselves. We value our individual uniquenesses far too much. But maybe at least we can be a bit more accepting of those who define themselves differently from us.

Angry Fat Girls

2011-07-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

Kuffel, Frances. Angry Fat Girls. New York: Berkeley Books, 2010.

Kuffel details the weight loss and gain of her online group, the Angry Fat Girls (AFG). The women relied on each other for support as their weight went up and down. Kuffel also details various diet plans the women had tried, as well as the emotional issues surrounding weight loss and gain and living life as one of America's extremely obese people.

This was an interesting and unusual book. The title was what caught my attention. I don't necessarily recommend adding it to one's personal library, but it was worth a day's perusal.