unChristian Theme 6: Too Judgmental

"To be judgmental is to point out something that is wrong in someone else's life, making the person feel put down, excluded, and marginalized. Some part of their potential to be Christ followers is snuffed out. Being judgmental is fueled by self-righteousness, the misguided inner motivation to make our own life look better by comparing it to the lives of others" (182).

"This raises another important question.  Are we perceived to be a loving group of people? . . . We asked outsiders, churchgoers, and pastors to describe whether they perceive Christian churches to be loving environments, places where people are unconditionally loved and accepted regardless of how they look or what they do. Only one out of five outsiders said they perceived churches in this way.  Surprisingly, fewer than half of churchgoers, including born-again Christians, felt strongly that their church demonstrates unconditional love" (185). 

Sadly, I have to agree.  Not all the time, not in every church or Christian group, but I have been in places where love is completely conditional: you are loved and accepted only if you dress right, read the right version of the Bible, give the right amount in the offering, listen to the right kind of music, have the right number of piercings or the right color hair, etc. etc. "Think of it: many outsiders, the broken people who need Jesus most, picture Christians as haters" (189).  When even fellow Christians can describe church as a place where they do not feel welcome, we should realize we have a serious problem.

Here's the solution, as suggested by those who have found church to be an unwelcome and unloving place:

1.  Listen.
2.  Don't label.
3.  Put yourself in the other person's place.
4.  Don't be so smart.
5.  Be genuine.
6.  Be a friend with no other motives.

Overall, this book painted a very unflattering picture of Christianity.  We have spent so much time trying to be holy and perfect that we have forgotten how to be loving and gracious.  We have created hedges around God's rules and then applied those rules and their accompanying hedges to everyone around us, regardless of their beliefs.  And we have been pushing people away from the One who loved them enough to die for them.  How dare we put ourselves in a place where we make the gospel seem less attractive.

May we all remember that the person sitting next to us on the bus, begging for spare change at the corner, in front of us in line at the grocery store, working with us at our jobs - these are eternal souls whom God loves dearly.  Let's break down the barriers and open the doors to the gospel once again.